I need to ask myself more questions

I seem to be quite stuck. I want to use a survey to help me understand how my colleagues view my work with the team and my communication with the team.

I keep writing questions and then discarding them. Why should this be so very difficult? I've written plenty of survey and assessment type items... heck, I'm currently the project lead for our new course evaluation surveys .

So why such clay feet when it comes to this more personal survey? Am I afraid that I will find that my colleagues don't believe that my work is of value or quality or that I don't communicate with them well? I suppose there is some fear - how could there not be some apprehension about putting myself out there to be commented on and criticized? But - I don't think that is really the reason - at least not the reason I'm having such a hard time coming up with a list of questions that I'm satisfied with.

I think maybe the real problem is that I'm not sure how to compose questions that will really focus on what it is I want to find out. Am I perhaps not being honest with myself about what it is I want to know? Have I just not figured out what it is I really want to know?

Ok... let's go with the second possibility... what is it I want to know?

I want to know if my colleagues think that I am a valuable member of the team.

I want to know if my colleagues think that I make important contributions to the team and to the work of our department.

I want to know if my colleagues fell that I am open with them about what I am working on and about my role in the department.

I want to know if my colleagues believe that I am honest with them.

I want to know if my colleagues believe that am interested in the work that they do.

I want to know if my colleagues believe that I value the work that they do.

I want to know if my colleagues believe that I understand the work that they do.

I want to know if my colleagues believe that I trust them.

I want to know if my colleagues feel that they can trust me.

Well - that wasn't hard... so how do I write questions that assess these things in a simple, straight forward way? Do I use a Likert scale type response system (what I've been assuming I'd use), a yes/no system (?? I don't think so), open-ended response questions (not sure that should be part of the first round).... multiple choice questions? (probably not).

Ok... so it looks like Likert scale is the way to go (as I'd already assumed). Now... I need to write the questions in such a way as to not add too much bias ... in other words... I need to write the questions in a way that doesn't imply the answer... maybe that's what I'm having the most difficult with. I don't want to waste my colleagues time w/ a survey that is not useful... I don't want to make it overly long... but I need to build in some redundancy to see if the responses to similar questions correlate.

I have 9 basic "I want to know" items listed (above)... so two questions for each item? That would mean an 18 question survey. Not too bad.

Ok... so.... now I have to write the questions, make the survey, and ask for some critique from my LC...

New goal... finish final draft of survey questions by tomorrow before our LC meeting... that way we can perhaps discuss them during TI... and I can post the survey before the end of the week.

I also need to start thinking about ways to write up what I've already done... I'm not sure it constitutes Cycle 1... my original plan was for the first cycle to be the initial survey... to provide sort of a baseline... but as I look back on the past few months (my blogs, my discussions w/ various LC members, other work) - I find that I've already done a lot of work on my communication and collaboration - with some significant success. My work with L on his presentation for the online symposium has been the most dramatic example... I'm been so pleased with the change I've seen in myself , the work we've done together, and the effect it has had on the team.

I've also worked to establish a connection with other team members... I've spent time listening and watching and learning what it is each person does that is unique and then looking for what connection I might have with them. Not a contrived or fake connection - but a real connection (some interest or endeavor we have in common) - and then take the connection and find a way to use it to help us work together.

I need to write up my reflections on these things in a more formal way and then organize them so that I can tell if this is pre-cycle work... or if, indeed, I've somehow managed to conduct a cycle w/o setting it up formally (not sure that is a valid method... but I do need to document these things for myself if for no one else).

Buy in

Passed out all the letters of consent today. Everyone signed them! Actually - that wasn't all that surprising - as I've really worked to keep everyone comfortable with the idea that I would be asking for their help with my research for school. But - there is often the attitude that if it isn't work related and it isn't fun then they don't want to be "bothered" with it. I've seen this attitude with other projects... I really hoped that they wouldn't view this as just "helping me with my school work"... that instead they would see that I am hoping to improve my practice at work and improve the way I work with them... but I couldn't really know for sure that they would view it that way.

So - I passed out the letters in person today and prefaced it w/ a verbal description of what Action Research is and how my goal is to improve my practice and my work with them through this research project. As I said... everyone signed them... but what was really nice was that several people asked further questions about the nature of the research AND they showed some real support for the project (enthusiasm one might even say). Perhaps the changes I'm already making in the way I collaborate really have had an impact. Or... maybe everyone was just being nice.... only time will tell. :) I do think the letter was a very good choice - as everyone seemed to really appreciate the fact that I was officially asking their permission to include them in the research... rather than just assuming that they would participate.

One very interesting thing - the more I explain AR and the more I have to describe to others what I'm researching... the more I come to understand it myself. Each time I explain it, I become a little clearer on what I'm doing.

The All Day Team Meeting

Today was worth two or three.

I delivered a web conference this morning... nothing unusual there except that because I was scheduled to do so I also had to miss the first half of an all day team meeting.

During the recent re-org our director was also made director of the Technical Publications department... so now... Education (formerly Client Ed and Employee Ed) and Technical Publications are to be one big happy family... still two separate departments but also one big happy family.

To be perfectly honest, none of us (in education or tech pubs) was all that excited about this meeting. We are all currently short staffed and under the proverbial gun to meet (what we consider to be) some pretty unrealistic deadlines on several projects. Taking an entire day away from our development work to sit around and brain storm on "how we can create efficiencies" was not something any of us considered an efficient use of our time. None of our deadlines were pushed back even a day to accommodate this day-long meeting and since the meeting is about how to find ways to do more, better, and faster with less (less people, less money, less time, etc)... well... it is perfectly understandable why no one was all that excited. To add to the lack of motivation is the fact that currently there is a company wide edict for "cost containment" - this cost containment includes new rules for what office supplies we can purchase AND has caused the end of any overnight mailing except for sales contracts... this means that for remote employees who are tasked with reviewing and/or creating any kind of documentation or product that cannot be delivered virtually (email, across the network, etc) - they have to wait 3 to 5 days for delivery. Since the company is not yet on board with the idea of electronic signatures, this means that for items that need signatures from remote employees or employees at sites in different states the wait time can now be anywhere from 3 days to over a week (depending on how many locations are involved). But... even with all these cost containment efforts - our director chose to take us away from our work for an entire day to attend an off-site catered meeting at a fancy hotel. So - that sets the stage for the general attitude by the non-manager types toward this meeting. And who could blame any of use for this attitude.

To be honest again - given the general attitude - everyone else's and my own - I was not all that disappointed that I had to miss the first half of the meeting in order to deliver training to our clients. I enjoy delivering training to our clients and I wasn't all to sure that I would enjoy sitting there and listening to our managers present to everyone else what it is we do (or what it is they think that we do) in our department.

So - I went in early to set up the web conference, answered several emails, called a couple of clients who needed help or had questions, delivered the web conference (2 hrs), answered a couple more emails, left messages for a couple of clients who I could not reach, set up my "out of the office for the rest of the day" email and telephone messages, and headed off the to the meeting thinking I would be there just in time for lunch.

I walk into the conference room (after getting rather lost in the hotel lobby), and there is my manager only about half way through his portion of the "what my people do" presentation (guess the meeting is running late already). He says, and I quote, "...and look, here is Susan." And.. get this... everyone applauds... then some one from the tech pubs dept says "I understand you're going to belly dance for us at lunch." Nice - apparently (I learned this later) during the initial introduction to the Education staff - since I wasn't there to represent myself... my manager introduced me as the belly dancer and Pepperdine MA student (in that order). LOL. Fortunately, I think fast on my feet... so it was all in good fun and after the spontaneous applause they continued on with the presentation and then broke for lunch. My manager told me a lunch that I walked in at the best possible time because everyone was starting to kind of nod off and I really woke them all up... lovely.

So - after lunch we did "break-out sessions" where we were tasked first with listing the things our groups have in common and the challenges we have in common. Not a bad task - and we did find that we had more things in common that we might have assumed. To make a long afternoon sound short, we came up with 7 points that we want to work on... the interesting thing is that the plebs want to work on these things because we believe that it will make our daily lives in the company better... the managers (and director) want us to work on them because it will "maximize efficiency." Same path different goal. I'm concerned that having the goal of being more efficient is not, in the long run, as productive as the goal of having more passion for and enjoyment in ones job and colleagues... but perhaps it is just that I don't think like a manger. Actually - I should note that item 7 was more resources (people and tools), more official recognition (titles), and more pay. Our director wrote those things down and then said we would not discuss them further because they were not in our power to do anything about. While that may be true, I thought it was perhaps poor judgment to write off those concerns so quickly - as there is one thing all of us can do about it... polish our resumes and look for other work. I sensed there were several people in the room who were thinking that way and I thought to not acknowledge it all (as the director and managers chose to do) was not very attentive. Rather than dismiss that universal comment, I think perhaps they should have acknowledge it and then talked about some other ways we might be able to achieve job satisfaction in the face of "cost containment." Instead, the attitude was "just accept that you won't get that and move on."

I don't think I remember the other 6 things exactly... but here is my best recollection. 1- minimize duplication of efforts. 2 - Better SME (subject matter expert) availability and more accurate SME input/participation/reviews. 3. Share resources (which I thought was similar to number one but the managers thought was a separate thing). 4. More positive visibility, respect, and value within the corporation as a whole (for our departments). 5. More useful client feedback. 6. hmmmm... can't remember 6... I think it was similar to 4 though.

Each table (mixed groups, members from each department, like short-term learning circles) - was tasked with brain-storming ideas for meeting one of the 6 points (remember... we left 7 on the table).

The table I was at was tasked with finding ideas for need number 4. The pain-point behind number 4 is that both Tech Pubs and Education seem to feel that we are not valued in the corporate structure (by the upper management and by other departments). Further - that it is because our value isn't recognized that we sometimes don't get the help, resources, etc. that we need. So our task was to come up with ways to increase not only our visibility but also our sense of value in the company.

I sat and listened to what the others at my table had to say... Difficult for me to do... I like to jump right in with my ideas... but I forced myself to just listen first because there were several angry people at my table and as frustrated as I am w/ the whole situation right not... I'm not really "angry" or resentful... just ... disappointed. So - I listened. The first idea... When they all pretended was a joke but obviously wasn't all that much of a joke... was to withhold all documentation and training (internal and external) for 3 months and then see if the company would realize our value. I kept my mouth shut and let them vent. The next idea was more productive - it was to participate in product development meetings and make intelligent and useful comments (rather than just attend the meeting and take notes). The next idea was to hose some fun event that would involve other departments in finding out about all the great stuff our department does (like a scavenger hunt for technical publications and training opportunities). I continued to listen and started to think about the lesson we learned from the story about the wolves and the sheep (for Dr. G's class)... I started to think about what we were missing... what was the important BIG IDEA that we might be completely overlooking.

A few more suggestions were made... and then... it hit me... I thought I saw what we might be missing... So... I asked the following... "What departments in the organization feel valued?" At first the answers were Sales and Development and maybe Implementation. So I re-asked the question... first I said... "Ok.. .we think that the organization values those departments above the others... and that may be true... But... (and here is the important question)... What departments within this organization sit around a table and talk about how valued and respected they are?" Everyone thought for a moment... then someone said that while we think Product Development is highly valued... they don't see it that way... they think that the company values implementation and sales above them... and implementation thinks that sales and education is more valued ... and sales feels that development is more valued... and so on." After a very short time... we all agreed that each department feels like it isn't valued or respected when compared to other departments. So - then I suggested that perhaps hosting special events where we "toot our own horn" in the interest of telling everyone else how great we are may not be the best approach. Perhaps instead... we need to find ways to promote other departments contributions to the organization and then in turn we promote ourselves as well. We work with all these departments in one way or another... so why not promote our projects in such as way as to also highlight the contributions from these other departments. At first... everyone just sort of stared at me... and I thought I'd lost them. But then... I actually saw the lightbulbs going off over some heads... If we show them that we value and respect them, then they will come to value and respect US too! WOW... revelation.

Best of all... When we present our idea to the managers and director... I think we really blew them away... as I don't think even they had thought of that idea.

I don't know if it will work. There is still a great deal of resentment. But - I did feel the day was worth it just because of bringing that revelation to the table. At the end of the day... several people in the room commented that they felt the day was valuable because we had come to realize that we all have much more in common (what we do and what our challenges are) than we thought. Our director asked for ideas for future meetings and I suggested that we might want to have (on occasion... not too often cuz everyone is so busy) a meeting like this with another department (development, implementation, etc)... as we might discover that we have more in common with them than we thought too. I saw a minor revelation in a few faces there as well... not quite a dramatic as the other one... but still there. Very cool. I'm glad I took the time to listen first and then try to see what we were all missing. I'm glad I went to the meeting too. I don't think things will get better over night... and I still think our managers are not communicating as well as they might... but I see a lot of hope for the strength that may come from our groups creating a larger community for ourselves.

Ok... enough for tonight.

Self discovery.

This is just a quick post. I don't have time to write much... but if I keep waiting until I have time I'll never record anything.

We worked on the outline for my colleague's online presentation today. It is going quite well and I see his confidence in himself and what he has to offer to others increasing. He is now interested in writing some white papers or articles for the eLearning Guild on some of the technical issues one encounters when trying to design online training with tools like Flash. I think this is an excellent endeavor for him to pursue!

I'm learning how to encourage without smothering and the more I work with him the more I'm learning about how to enable someone to accomplish something themselves rather than just do it for them or tell them all the steps they should follow to get it done. Most interesting is that I didn't realize that I wasn't doing that before, but when I look back on my interactions in the past, I realize that I have a tendency to either just clearly explain exactly how one should go about a specific task... or... if I have the time, I just offer to do it for them. I realize now that neither of those approaches is truly helpful in the long run. Sure - it means the task itself gets done and may get done quickly and correctly... but it also means that the next time a similar task needs to be accomplished I have not set up a situation where that other person will be better equipped to do it themselves. I think this is an extremely important lesson to learn and I am rather intrigued that I had not recognized the difference until now - or had not recognized that my actions didn't represent my own beliefs about learning. The echoes something I reflected on some time ago - that somehow the lessons I learned when I worked with students did not transfer to my work with professional colleagues. With students I made an effort to facilitate and enable their own discoveries but somehow I didn't transfer that type of action to working with adults in a professional collegial environment.

It makes me a bit sad that it has taken me so many years to recognize this. I wonder how many people I've hindered when I thought I was helping. Not much to be done about that except try to do better from now on.

I should probably cross post this in my mentor blog - as I think this realization is significant for that work as well.

One step at a time

I need to do more official ARP work - although I can see how my relationships at work are being very positively effected (and affected) by all the reading I've done for my ARP and by the work I've done in other courses (both last term and this term - especially mentoring).... I need to officially start cycle one and I need to start being more diligent about writing my reflections in this blog rather than in person notes on paper and in other blogs as sort of tangential to what I'm reflecting on in those blogs.

I've set this Thursday (two days) as my personal deadline for composing my final draft of my informed consent letter and posting it on Bb for some peer review. I've set this weekend as my personal deadline for my first set of survey questions.

As far as work is concerned - it is very interesting to be part of and to observe from the outside at the same time. We - the small team of learning developers and instructional technologists (sans the managers) have grown much closer on a strictly personal/social level. The turmoil in the greater environment (corporation) has brought us together but has also made us more wary of everything that is not "one of us." On some levels this is a good thing because we rely on each other more, confide in each other more, and recognize each other's value more. On other levels this may not be so good - we feed into each other's suspicion of the "outsiders" (management for the most part), we tend to support each other in our opinions and attitudes even when those opinions and attitudes are not necessarily the most productive.

I've found that I've changed the way I voice what optimism I still have. I do believe that our team is safe (or at least as safe as any team can be in a for-profit, publicly traded, corporation) - but when we have conversations I also voice my concerns regarding how the corporation and our managers are communicating with us. I still voice the optimism too, but I mitigate it w/ the admission that I also see the disconnects and fell the frustration that others are feeling. I'm not being dishonest or disingenuous in doing this - I do see these things and feel the same frustration and concern that others do. I've found that if I articulate that along with the optimism other members of the team are more comfortable because they no longer feel that they are alone in their concern. What I am very aware of though is the danger of wallowing in that concern and not seeking other options, different approaches, or even solutions. So, when we are all discussing whatever pain points we have on a given day, I'm careful to try to bring the conversation around to options and possible solutions or alternate approaches at some point. For a while, I was the only one doing that and was general met with the attitude (or even the exact words) "...it's always been this way, there is nothing we can do to change it..." Recently, I've noticed that on occasion, I no longer get that response. I don't know if that means that attitudes are changing or if it means that everyone has just accepted that I'm trying to offer options and is just "letting me do my thing."

One really bright spot is how my relationship with L has evolved (I could probably use his real name in here... his websites are referenced on more than one of mine... but I'll forgo for now). Over a year ago now I began to sense that our relationship was becoming somewhat adversarial - good natured but not really what I would call productively supportive. In the last several months, I've made a concerted effort to stop assuming that he is being purposely obtuse or difficult. I've tried to really listen to what he is (and isn't) saying, to observe how he "is" when he is excited about something and when he isn't, and to take an interest in more of the things he does outside of work or on projects not connected to the projects I'm currently working on. I finally realized that even though he's been tasked with teaching the rest of us how to use the variety of technical applications we require (Flash, etc), there are several skills of his own that he would like to develop professionally and that he feels he could use help with. He was not asking for that help directly but he was making comments that sounded self-deprecating in a humors way but were really indications that he would like some professional development of his own. So, I began offering to work with him on specific projects or tasks (such as the proposal to present at the online conference) and at the same time asked him for assistance with my own work (Flash, illustrations, Fireworks and graphics stuff, etc). I also started watching a soap-opera with both him and another colleague during lunch a couple of days a week. Joining them for the soap opera viewing has become an important bonding activity. Working with L has become increasingly better and more satisfying over the last several weeks. Working on the proposal for the online conference was the lynch-pin.

We found out while I was at FETC that he has indeed been invited to present - so now I'm working with him to complete the rest of the paperwork and put together a solid outline for the presentation. He has gained a new sense of security in his job partially because of this outside (outside of the company) recognition of the value he (and his knowledge and expertise) offers. He has gained a new sense of confidence within the company because management is now impressed as well (nothing like being invited to present for a "conference" to get the management to notice you). I've also watched his own self-confidence grow as we worked on this project. What is most remarkable to me is that just a few short months ago I didn't recognize that there was a need for greater self-confidence there. Now, I wonder how I could have missed that. He is still the same extremely hyper and easily distractable person (which is one of the things that frustrated me in the past) - but I find that I just sort of accept that now as an integral part of his nature and am not so frustrated by it.

Ok... enough for tonight... I really need to start writing in here a little bit several times a week ... rather than a huge novel a few times a month.