Sukay's ARP

No more comments or posts here

2005-08-18T08:50:00.000-07:00

This journal is now complete - as the course for which it was started is over. I've left the journal up for review and reflection purposes but, unfortunately, I've had to turn off the ability to leave comments as there are some very unscrupulous (nasty, mean, horrible, no purpose in life) people who insist on spamming blogs with their own advertisements. Rather than deal with the constant maintenance of erasing such inconsiderate, inappropriate, and just plain disgusting comments - I have decided to turn off the commenting access for all outside users (even blogger.com users).

It's really too bad.

For those of you that are honestly interested (and who know me), you can read current journal entries at Live Journal. Of course - you'll have to become a member of Live Journal... Live Journal (so far) has much better security.

Today was a good day.

2005-06-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

The culmination of cycle 3 - "Celebrating Teamwork with Frozen Treats"... Our Ice Cream social (to recognize and sincerely thank all the teams that worked with us to release 50 learning events (a series of synchronous online "web conferences," a variety of self-paced online courses, and one week-long classroom seminar) all in time for the GA release of our newest version update for our laboratory product. It took the efforts of the entire education department as well as technical and subject matter expert help from a variety of people in about six other departments. We've worked for over a year (closer to two years) on this project from envisioning to "publication." We could not have done it with out the help and support of a lot of other people. Due to the current "disconnect" that I've noticed (the company "policy" is to encourage teamwork and collaboration across departments... but typically individual efforts and competition are what are recognized and rewarded...) - I wanted to find a way to demonstrate how much we (as a team) value collaboration and I wanted to find a way to recognize and celebrate collaboration.

I had really hoped that people would come enjoy the ice cream (and other "treats" and hang out for a little while in the Fun Room... enjoy each others company, socialize, etc. I was partially successful in that. Our company is split up in two different buildings that are actually about 3 or 4 miles away from each other. At the other building (where our sister department Technical Publications is located) - that is exactly what occurred. Nearly everyone who was at work this afternoon made their way to the Fun Room, enjoyed the frozen treat of their choice, and hung out for a while and enjoyed the company and the relaxed atmosphere. At our building, The majority of people came for the treats, took what they wanted, a then went back to their desk because they had "too much work" and "didn't have time" to hang out. They were happy with the treats and many said thank you and that they had really been looking forward to it (we announced the event last week on Friday by putting little posters up all over the building). I even received a couple of personal thank-you emails from a few people who knew that I was the one who organized the event. All in all, I think people liked it and I'm very happy about that - but I'm also a bit disappointed that the majority of people in our building felt that they could not spend a little while on a Thursday afternoon away from their desks. It became very obvious, based on some conversations I had with the few people that did hang out, and other conversations w/ my teammates that there are a large number of people in our office who don't really know the people that work in other parts of the building. They know the people who sit in the cubicle next to them, or somewhere in the same quadrant on the same floor... but they don't know very many people beyond that geography. This is not true of everyone - there are some who know a lot more people... some of this is because of their specific job. For example the lovely lady in the shipping and receiving dept who brings us our mail... but how many people know the other guys that she works with down there... the only reason I know them is because I have many personal packages [like school books] delivered and I don't think it is fair to ask her to bring those to me on the 4th floor... so I've asked them to just call me when such things arrive and I go down and get them. It's been fun because I got to meet everyone in Shipping/Receiving, they are a really good group of people.

This makes some real sense - it is an example of the ideas of hubs and connectors in networks... But - I think if our company is to succeed in changing the culture to be one of collaboration over [internal] competition then we must all get to know each other across teams and departments. It is funny, but now that I think about it... there are several of us in education that do that... partially because we teach people in other department and partially because we need their assistance to design valid training (we need those SMEs).... but I think there may be more to it than that. There are several of us that just want to know people. We spend some time actually getting up and visiting other people - not just emailing them or calling them on the phone. We talk to them about business, but we also tend to be interested in what television shows they are watching or what their kids names are... that kind of thing. Maybe the education department could become (or already is) a hub/connector in our corporate network.

Ok - the other really good thing that happened today. For cycle 1 I worked with a colleague to help him achieve his goal of presenting at an online professional conference. That in turn inspired me to write a proposal to make my own presentation at a national conference. Late last month (May 23 to be exact) I submitted a proposal to the eLearning Guild to present a session on interactive demonstration and simulation design/development for online courses focused on application training (using tools like Captivate). I wasn't sure the proposal would be accepted... as I've never presented at a national conference that wasn't sponsored by a company that I worked for. Today, I was interviewed (via the telephone) by the gentleman who is managing the organization of the presentations for the conference. He was very interested in my proposal and at the conclusion of the interview he told me that they would indeed like me to present. The conference is in November - so I now have a little personal project to occupy my time after I graduate. :)

observations and mixed feelings

2005-06-07T17:31:00.000-07:00

I find myself rather frustrated lately, on several fronts, all at work.

The peer reviews I requested have been returned to me by several of my colleagues. The responses are all very positive and, from what I can tell, very genuine. I've received some valuable suggestions from a couple of people too, for which I am most appreciative. The frustrating part is that three of my five immediate colleagues (team members at the "peer" level) have not responded and two of those three definitely don't intend to respond. Although I indicated that I very much value their feedback and any suggestions they have for me, they feel that they have "contributed enough by filling out the survey a for my last cycle." Neither was hostile in any way, they are just not interested in participating in the process and don't feel that it is part of their job - which is certainly true. I have not pressed the issue, but it does make me sad and I think it speaks to a lack of trust (although it is not clear who or what it is that they don't trust since the overall atmosphere at work these days is one of insecurity, fear, and suspicion).

For Cycle 2 - I did make significant progress in my revised approach to formal critique and feedback. For myself, I've succeeded in turning the editorial critique process into something I honestly value and look forward to rather than just a "required step." I think I've also come to not only view the process as a dialogue but also demonstrate to others in the department that approaching the process as a dialogue is valuable. One drawback to this new approach is that I can tend to be disappointed when I don't receive content centered feedback (when I only receive editorial-grammatical type comments). Now that I have all the peer reviews that I think I'm going to receive, I need to finish writing up Cycle 2. As much as I love to write, in this particular situation I do find that the action and reflection comes much easier than the formal writing. I'm not sure if this is because it is such a fundamentally personal project or if there is something else at work there - I'll have to think on that further.

Cycle 3 is nearly done too - so it looks like a may be writing up two cycles this weekend. The event to celebrate interdepartmental collaboration was approved, I was given a budget of $150, and I was given the freedom to plan the event with out too much oversight. The colleague who I worked so closely with in cycle 1 helped me to create the "publicity" for the event (fliers and a little something to had out to anyone who attends). He did a wonderful job with it too. Another colleague made the excellent suggestion that rather than thank individual people (all the people that impacted the project in any way), we thank entire departments (and everyone in them). After all my talk about encouraging and acknowledging collaboration - it is funny that it took someone else to see this approach (I was ready to list dozens of names). I think the intent of the suggestion was inspired by a desire to not hurt anyone by accidentally leaving them off the list of names. But I see another level - for each of these people to take the time to work with Education on this project, others in their department had to "take up the slack" (even if that just meant answering a couple more calls or waiting a bit for their colleague to return and collaborate with them on something). So - in fact - it really did take the effort of entire departments and not just some individuals in those departments.

Progress on two fronts

2005-05-23T18:06:00.000-07:00

Progress point 1 -
Cycle two is nearly over - all that remains is to send out my peer review requests and then evaluate whatever data those return. Last week I saw what may be evidence that I'm having an impact.... and it cam from a most unexpected direction. A colleague who whose views and opinions are very dominant in our group (I've reflected on observations about this colleague before) performed a "final" editorial (LD) review on one of my projects. In the past, this colleague would generally make/"suggest" changes by crossing out what I'd written and inserting what he/she felt was more appropriate. This technique was used regardless of whether the comments concerned grammar/usage or content. Quite often, upon receiving such comments, the majority of us (myself included) would accept the version that this colleague supports. I should note that this person knows every rule of grammar (that I am aware of) and is a walking "manual of style." Because of this level of expertise, the entire team tends to defer to this person even when the commentary isn't about grammar/usage. As part of my effort to reinvent the way I engage in the review/critique process, I have initiated a dialogue with this colleagues regarding specific comments in the critiques I receive (especially comments regarding content). In each case - I believe the end result has been better than either my original work or the initial modifications suggested by my colleagues.

So - now I come to the most recent review performed on one of my projects by this one specific colleague. There were few comments (this was a very small and narrowly focused project) - only one was about content. The noteworthy thing is that in this case, rather than rewrite the content, this colleague asked me a clarifying question about what I had written... a question meant to make me look again at what I had written and compare it to what I was actually trying to convey without re-writing it for me (and thus making an assumption about what I was trying to convey). This particular colleague has never (in my experience or recollection) done that before (at least not with me). As part of my work in Cycle 2, when the timing is appropriate I've been discussing ways to approach the work we do with each other (on the education team) as an opportunity to learn from each other. As I critique the work of others, I've talked about my approach and explained how I hope we can teach and learn from each other and how sharing our methods and rationale helps make this possible. I've worked to share this approach with everyone and in different formats (both casual conversations and formal meetings and critiques). I really wasn't sure it was making any difference to anyone but me... this one little comment from this specific colleague has given me hope that I am making a difference.

Progress point 2 -
Cycle 3 begins! I was concerned that I would not find a cycle three - I found out a couple of weeks ago that moving cube walls is out of the question and I struggled with how to approach my third cycle, as I really wanted to do something that was a little more "extroverted" than my first two cycles. Last week an opportunity presented itself - to organize the first real celebration of a big interdepartmental collaborative effort. This will give me a chance to act on some of the things I've been saying for months now. For some time I've observed (and shared my observations) that the company may talk about supporting, facilitation, and nurturing collaborative work... but the culture still rewards individual efforts and competitive efforts. When appropriate - I've tried to bring the disconnect to the attention of certain managers and directors but this has been a slow process. Now - I have a chance to really walk the talk. Last week I received the support of our department Director and one of our managers, today I received the very enthusiastic support of our other manager. So - now I get to do the real work... come up with a plan for the event and a budget... then work out the date and get the info out there! This will have to be a fairly fast turn-around - as the first training starts the week of June 6 and I'd like the celebration to happen sometime during that two week period (while the training is happening). If I can do it the week of the 6th that would be best... that way I'll have time to write the cycle up before the last minute. :)

Ideal job

2005-05-14T18:49:00.000-07:00

This assignment is far more difficult than I thought it would be.

The ideal job. I've thought about it, researched different types of positions, looked at some of the current open positions in the general field that I currently work in and even some in other somewhat related fields.

I'm not sure there is an ideal job for me. Why?

I don't think I've ever looked to the work I do to fulfill me - at least not completely. I see the work I do for wages as only one part of the work I do in this life and as only one small part of who I am. It fulfills certain needs - some practical (the ability to pay my bills), some more esoteric (satisfaction in the job I do, enjoyment of the tasks I undertake, social connections with the people I work with, the chance to learn new things, etc) - but it does not fulfill all my basic needs. I don't think I've ever looked to any one thing to do that, just as I have not really ever looked to any one person to do that (other than myself perhaps).

So - what kind of position would fulfill both my intellect and my creative spirit - yet still leave room in my life for all my other passions (art, music, dance, reading, writing, film, dogs, performing, etc). I don't want a position that fills all those needs if it means that I would not have the time outside of "work" to pursue them in other ways not related to work.

I think, perhaps - part of why I'm having such a difficult time with this assignment is that somewhere in my not quite conscious thoughts I hold the belief that if I figured out what that dream position was, was offered it, and accepted it - that it would become the sole focus of my life and I don't want a sole focus in my life (other than living that life). I think there is also the fear that no such job exists or that if it does exist I either would not get it or I would get it and then the company would close down or move and I would either loose it or have to make a choice between where I want to be and what I want to do.

One way or the other - there are obviously several competing fears that are standing between me and writing a description for my idea job.

So - how do I face those fears? How do I allow them to pass through me so that I come out on the other side of them?

I don't want to write some fantasy job that encompasses ALL that I am passionate about. I want my various and beautifully diverse passions to be allowed to exist on their own and not be combined under one title.

I want to write a description for a real job or a job that could really exist, a job that I could be passionate about doing (and doing well). Work that I could be engaged in, find enjoyment in, find intellectual stimulation, find opportunities to express my creativity, collaborate with other people (who are passionate about what they do) - but not be so completely caught up in and involved in that I find that I don't leave room for the other things in my life.

Perhaps that is really my greatest fear - that I would have to give up one of my other passions for this "ideal job." Interesting... that was my greatest fear about applying for this OMET program as well. I almost didn't apply because of it... not because I was afraid I wouldn't be accepted - I knew not being accepted was always a possibility but I've learned how to cope with disappointments like that. No the reason I struggled so with my decision to apply was that I was truly afraid of what I would have to give up in order to get the most out of this experience (and to find success in it).

So - what did I give up? I gave up spending 2 evenings a week at the dance studio and being part of a dance troupe - and now I find that I am a much happier person for it as that studio and that troupe were not very healthy places to be (emotionally). I gave up going to Bikram yoga 3 or 4 times a week (lately I don't even get there once a week). I gave up going to the cinema 2 or 3 times a week. I gave up several novels and other books every month (pleasure reading that is). I gave up going to out of town dance workshops and performances. I gave up some of my high level of involvement in the "local arts and performance scene."

Now - what didn't I give up...? I still dance professionally (performances at least twice a month), I still do yoga (just do it at my house now), I still go to some group fitness classes (just at the gym which is closer than the yoga studio and less expensive), I still paint, photograph, draw, write, and read (although some of it is "for school" but it is still very satisfying). I don't see as many films right now - but I know that will change once I graduate.

Ok - so - in some ways going back to school was like finding my idea job... and I've made it work - I've given up some things but also figured out which things I was willing to give up or put on hold and which I wasn't. AND - I've found a great deal of fulfillment in the work I've done for school - which has more (much more) than made up for anything that I gave up.

Perhaps most significant - of the things that I did give up I now have enough distance (literal and figuratively) to be able to see which ones I want to work back in and which ones I'm happier and healthier without... which relationships were pulling me down and holding me back. That's pretty friggin significant. Pretty friggin great and amazing too. (I wonder if that's how you spell friggin)

So - what would happen if I figured out what my idea job is and then found a way to do it? Given what has happened this past year - would I really give a bunch of my other passions up, never to return to them? No - very likely not. Would I find some new and different outlets for some of them? Very possibly. Would I find that some of them don't have as positive an impact on my life as I thought? Maybe. Would I discover some new passions? Very likely. Would my idea job today still be my ideal job in 3 or 5 years? Not bloody likely (as our CEO would say) - I don't think I'm built that way.

So.. really... what am I so afraid of? Nothing is permanent and attachment to anything at the expense of other opportunities is not really that healthy - it certainly isn't the way to enlightenment or to joy for that matter.

Part of evolving and growing is being able to let go of the old and the comfortable to make room for the new.

Up until OMET, I moved through my life adding more and more things (hobbies, relationships, passions) without ever letting go of much - or only letting go of things that I somehow felt were "complete." I just kept adding and adding and somehow found room for it all. This last year I've learned that sometimes there isn't room for it all... and sometimes things are past complete and I just haven't realized it and so have not let them go when I should have.

So - where do I go from here? I still don't have my idea job description written. I'm still not sure I know what it is. I think I need look at it as my ideal job for the next few years... rather than my idea job for the rest of my life (didn't realize I'd been thinking of it as something that permanent until just now). Writing a description for my ideal job for the next few years is a much less weighty task. I already feel a little better just thinking about it in those terms.

be the change you want to see

2005-05-09T21:03:00.000-07:00

I tried something a little risky today... well not risky in a big sense but risky in terms of personal comfort and in terms of challenging someone else's role just a bit.

I'm working on a review of a colleague's work (an 87 page manual for the new version of Live Meeting - Microsoft provides absolutely no manuals or training to us of any kind... or perhaps the corporation doesn't purchase that service - so our department must create the manual and training from scratch).

This colleague is one of the members of the [former] employee education department. Prior to our departments becoming one department (Big Ed) - the employee education department created most of their own training materials (including manuals) without a real review process. This is understandable, as they were a department of 3 (1 manager, 1 trainer/designer/developer, and 1 training coordinator [administrative staff]). Now that we are all part of one department (and now that there are a few more people working on internal education projects) we are making an effort to bring the internal learning materials into the four phase process that we use in client education (envision, design, develop, stabilize). An important part of that process is the editorial and content reviews. Generally, content reviews are performed by Subject Matter Experts and editorial reviews are performed by Learning Developers/Designers. Because we are under a great deal of daily pressure to keep our production level high, the internal training materials as yet don't generally go through a full set of two editorial reviews (one at the design phase and one at the development phase)... we do try to conduct one editorial review though.

Now - because employee education did not have an established style guide and client education did, it was decided that we would start with client education's style guide and modify it as needed and where appropriate for employee education projects. Our colleagues from employee education are not yet familiar with our style guide, so some of what they write and develop doesn't meet the stated requirements. The other important factor is that our new Big Ed department has 5 Learning Developers and 4 Learning consultants... the division of job duties in the past has been that the Learning Consultants work with the SMEs, develop the vision scopes, act as liaison between the SMEs and the LDs, and often also conduct instructor led training. But - this was only true for client education... now that the department is responsible for both client ed and employee ed, there are learning consultants who are also designing and developing training materials (such as the manual I'm currently editing).

There are those in the department who want to keep the task of designing and developing all instructional materials as one for LDs only. Those who want that don't believe that the LCs should be developing the actual content and training materials.

Given the current demands on the department and the current corporate culture, this is an unrealistic expectation. Given the talent and value of our LCs this is, in my opinion, also and unnecessary expectation... more of a control issue than a quality issue.

So - that's the background... now here is what happened today.

I'm working on this 87 page document and it is requiring quite a bit of editorial work - not only for the style guide issues but also for basic writing technique and instructional design.

When we perform editorial reviews for other LDs, we never make changes w/o discussion (w/o giving the original developer the opportunity to review and accept, deny, or modify our changes). If it isn't a typo/grammar/usage correction, we generally call our changes "suggestions" and leave the final decision up to the original designer/developer.

As I work on this 87 page document, I'm approaching it in that way. So rather than just make a change w/o explanation, I'm making suggested changes and explaining the rationale for the changes. It is taking much longer than if I just "re-did" the document.

One of the other LDs (one who is of the opinion that LCs should not be designing/developing content) commented that it would be much quicker and easier if I were to just rewrite the manual in the "correct" way. This colleague further commented that LCs shouldn't be creating learning events and training materials anyway (implying that I should not be spending the time to give the project a full editorial review but should just "fix it"). Ordinarily with this particular colleague, we all just sort of nod and then quietly do what we were doing. This colleague has very strong opinions, exerts them on the whole department, and many of us often choose to just not rock the boat. I'll admit, I've done that plenty of times... it is often much easier to do that. I sort of pick my battles. Well... I decided that this was one of those battles.

So - I stated in as non-confrontational way as possible that given the current demands on the department and the need for internal (non-revenue) as well as external (revenue... client) instruction, LCs would, for the foreseeable future, be creating content and learning events. We cannot realistically put all the internal and external content creation in the hands of 5 LDs and expect to have the training we need when we need it. So - rather than frustrate ourselves and waste our time and energy fighting something that won't change, we need to figure out a way to work within the situation and still produce valid and valuable internal training. My (LD) colleague sort of agreed... grumbled about the "management" but agreed. So - I saw an opening there and I explained that if I just "fixed" the manual then the next time our LC colleague created training materials the same mistakes would be made again and I (or another LD) would have to "fix" it again. I felt it was worth my time now to at least offer this colleague (LC) the opportunity to learn how to create better training materials. I know this colleague well enough to believe that they want to write better training materials and I know this colleague is capable of it. I told my LD colleague that it was like the saying about giving a man a fish versus teaching him how to fish. I don't know if I got through any further than simply making it clear that I had a thought out reason for doing what I was doing. Time will tell. It is difficult to change a culture from one of ownership and competition to one of shared vision and shared paths to reaching that vision. I thought standing up for that vision would energize me... but in fact I'm quite exhausted tonight... it feels like such a struggle sometimes and I've been wondering more and more lately if I want to continue this specific struggle. I guess time will tell me that too.

Elevator pitch

2005-05-05T20:11:00.000-07:00

This is more difficult than I thought it would be... perhaps I'm making too big a deal of it... but part of me thinks of an elevator pitch as an audition. It is more than just describing yourself and or what you are doing... it is about selling yourself and inspiring the person you are talking to into wanting to be a part of what you are doing.

So - what is it that I am doing that I hope will inspire others? (and what am I doing that I hope will inspire me).

I started out looking at my work with the team, my communication style, my project management style, and how I might improve all those things. I thought the goal was improving project management. I thought I already communicated fairly well, collaborated well, etc. I learned fairly quickly that I still have a lot to learn.

Through my initial readings, I began to understand that a functional team requires more than just people working on projects together. Trust is required... more than required... it is essential. And there must be more than one kind of trust... professional trust (that your colleagues can and will do the job... will pull their own weight) is important but so is affective (emotional) trust. The more I thought about the significance of trust, the more I started to look at my work environment differently. I came to realize that in many ways I had not been letting my colleagues "in" in a way that would build affective trust. In fact - I began to notice a distinct lack of that kind of trust in our general environment. We all trust that the other team members will do the job... in fact we trust that each of us will do a very good job (even the best job we can)... but the overall culture of the company and therefore of the department and even of the team is not one of trust. Each person on the team is convinced that there are several people (especially managers and 'outsiders') who have no clue what we actually do much less how we do it or what we need to do it well. None of us feel very secure in our position (the company could decide at any time that they want to outsource our work, or that they think that we can do the same work with fewer people). We are not confident that our manger will fight for any of us (in fact, some of us are fairly sure that he wont). An adversarial attitude has developed among some team members.

It is ironic - because our core team has a lot of fun together and to those not on the team it looks like we adore each other and love our jobs. In fact, in many ways that is true. Each of us enjoys doing the "work" that we do. Each of us likes our other team members (with one or two notable exceptions... and they still work together). Yet, at the same time, there is this undercurrent of general dissatisfaction and resentment about a number of things that most feel are beyond our control.

So - that is the "problem"... and not the one I thought it was when I started this journey.

As I came to have a better understanding of the underlying problem, I began to look more closely at how I functioned within the group. Was I having any effect on the group? Was I supporting, encouraging, or even promoting the general dissatisfaction? If not promoting or encouraging it, was I enabling it? Was I working to dispel it? I realized that some of my actions were enabling it. I was buying into a cycle of frustration. So, I took a step back and worked on really listening to what my colleagues were saying (and not saying). I watched what they were doing (and not doing). After a great deal of listening and reflecting, I began to see at least one way I could help ease certain frustrations and also work on my own professional growth. (This was my work with the colleague who made the presentation for the online symposium)

As I worked on this project I also continued to listen, watch, and reflect on how I was interacting within the team. Was I following (another way of enabling the current frustration and ennui)? Was I working in a way that would light a path away from that? I started looking at how I was responding to criticism... not general criticism... but formal critique. I realized that I was "following" or "disregarding." I began to look at the critique process in a new way - as a way of focusing (shining a light) on what wasn't clear about what I had written/designed/developed/etc. I also began to look at it as a way to foster a dialogue with my colleagues. Rather than just accept or reject the comments made during a critique, I began to use them as an opportunity to have an exchange of ideas with my colleagues. This one small, but profound change in my own approach caused a huge change in my overall attitude and my own personal satisfaction at work. I started looking forward to the critique process. That, in turn, has caused me to begin looking for other ways to encourage exchanges of ideas. The nature of my participation in group meetings (team meetings, project meetings, etc) as well as my participation in one-on-one meetings (w/ my manager in particularly) has begun to change. Still in small steps - but I'm finding a role as a mediator (translator) - I'm learning to become more aware of miscommunication and disconnects as they are happening rather than after the fact. I'm starting to explore ways of helping both sides (or all sides) understand the point of view of the other. Once or twice lately, I think it has worked.

So - given all of this... what is my elevator speech?

Hi! My name is _______. I'm an instructional designer/developer and a graduate student in educational technology. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Have you ever wondered what's at the root of a really successful team? Well, I have, so I set out to find out. I decided that the best way to find out was to start with myself. I asked myself, how can I be a better team member? How can I improve my collaboration skills? How can I work to improve the relationships on and the work of my team?

I looked at current research on teams, teamwork, and collaborative environments. I found that through-line, the common thread is trust. For a team to function, grow, and be successful, there must be trust. Both Cognitive trust (a trust that your teammates can and will do their part) and Affective trust (the trust built and nurtured by emotional bonds).

For my first cycle of research I took a step back and actively listened to and watched my team. I reflected on whether my contributions enabled the current somewhat dysfunctional status quo or lit the way toward a more functional and satisfying type of collaboration. I looked for ways that I could support both the professional and affective needs of my team mates and also enrich my own growth and development. An opportunity to facilitate a team member in his own professional development and be cause I was paying such careful attention, I recognized the opportunity and embraced it. I worked with this team member to help him propose, write, and develop a presentation for an online eLearning symposium. Our work together on this one project effected our other work together and within the team as a whole in a very positive way. I believe that I was also instrumental in my colleague recognizing his own talent and value in a new area, professionally. Our work on this project reinforced our cognitive trust in each other and also increased our affective trust in each other.

For my second cycle, I am re-inventing my approach to the critique process. I've challenged my self to cease viewing critique and critical comments as something to either accept or reject and begin looking at it as an opportunity to begin a dialog with my colleagues.

Thank you for your time and the opportunity to share with you a little bit about what I'm doing. Please feel free to ask any questions or offer any advice.

Cycle 2 work

2005-05-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

Cycle 2 turned out to be completely different than I thought it would be. I would call it a cycle still in progress - but then I feel like cycle 1 didn't really end until my colleague actually delivered his online presentation (which he did with much success last week on Thursday... more on that in a different posting).

Cycle 2 was originally going to be about peer review and being a contributor - but my realization about how I had been dealing with critique caused me to review that.

For the last two weeks I have worked at incorporating my mid-April realizations about how I had been dealing with critique.

With each critique I've tried to look at the reviewer's comments not as a way that I should (or shouldn't) change my work but rather as a way of understanding what underlying presumptions exist in my work. What knowledge have I taken for-granted? What assumptions have I made? Initially I was concerned that my colleagues (reviewers) would find it an imposition if I kept coming back to them (regarding their comments) w/ "what do you think of this?" and "do you think this makes more sense or is clearer?" We are all under a great deal of daily pressure at the moment and there often seems to be an attitude that one should just get one's work done and not ask too many questions or spend too much time tweaking something to make it better because "getting it done" is more important than taking time to "make it better." :( So - in an effort to include my colleagues in my thought process without "imposing" on their tight schedules, I've takento writing very brief IMs which include my revisions and a quick question to them regarding whether they find it clearer, more informative, etc. In this way I can include them in my process but keep it sort of quick, easy, and rather informal. So far, that seems to be working. I try to limit both the frequency and the length, so as not to interrupt any one person too often. I'm finding that having to put things in IM bite size pieces is refining my own thinking process - a nice and unexpected benefit.

As I've worked through this, I've found that I've come to look forward to the review process as an integral part of making my work better rather than as a necessary but tedious step. I've also found that I truly appreciate my colleagues who make insightful comments regarding the flow, structure, and content of my work over the colleagues who simply catch typos and suggest different grammar or word usage. This in turn has caused me to rethink the way I review my colleagues work. I find that I am making more and more comments regarding instructional design and flow and fewer "editorial" comments. I don't overlook or ignore typos, incorrect grammar, etc (those things are important too) but I now don't shy away from making suggestions regarding structure, flow, presentation, instructional design, etc. I've also started to add some basis for my comments... for example, in a recent review where I noticed a colleague had put a great deal of informational text in a "text box/bubble" and then followed it with one piece of directional/instructional text ("type___and press Enter")... rather than just suggest that this colleague break up the informational text with either line breaks or even multiple bubbles controlled by the learner ("click here to continue...") - I included with my suggestion a short explanation regarding readability, flow, and learner centric design. I'm not sure yet how this new approach to my reviews will ultimately be received - only time will tell. There is a bit of an attitude here that it is more important to just create stuff than to actually spend time understanding learning theory and applying that understanding to what is designed. There is also an attitude that if the writing is "good" (meaning correct grammar, word usage, spelling, etc) then the instructional design is good. I'm not quite sure how to change that, as I'm only just beginning to understand how deeply pervasive the attitude is - but I think modeling a different approach is a good start.

In addition to modeling an Instructional Design (rather than technical writing) approach, I've also tried to model a true collaborative approach by discussing my proposed changes with the reviewer, rather than just making the changes and then sending the project onto the next stage. I have not yet noticed anyone else in my immediate circle doing this (that circle being those of us focused on client education development) but I have noticed that some of my colleagues who focus on internal (employee) education development are doing this. They are new to the review process in general, so perhaps it is easier for them to begin to take a different approach. In the past two to three weeks, my colleagues who work on employee education have begun to approach me about collaborating on their projects, reviewing their work, and assisting them in learning how to use some of the tools that I use to create learning events. I wonder if the personal effort I'm making to learn how to truly embrace critique (rather than just accept it) has somehow made me more approachable even to those who are not reviewing my work?

Looking at critique in a new way.

2005-04-15T13:33:00.000-07:00

Something remarkable happened today. By "remarkable," I do mean "worthy of remarking on."

One of the things I had to learned (thought I had learned) many years ago (as a teenager/young adult) was how to "accept criticism." Interesting that we refer to it as "accepting criticism." One part of the process was learning to not become automatically defensive when someone else offers a critique. This lesson was reinforced in all of my art and drama classes - where a regular part of the process is the "critique." For many years now (most of my adult life), I've prided myself on being good at suppressing the automatic defense instinct when criticisms are offered. I thought that I was pretty good at taking all comments, criticisms, concerns, etc into consideration.

Flash forward to today...

I have a colleague who works out of a "remote" office. I am currently working closely with this colleague on several projects and have worked closely with this colleague in the past as well. This colleague has a bit of a reputation in the department for not being the easiest person to work with. My personal opinion has always been that this is partially due to the fact that 90% of our communication with this person is via email and telephone. There are some who can come across as relatively harsh and even rude in electronic communications and some who come across that way in telephone communications as well. This colleague tends toward that in both email and telephone conversations. I've always taken this into consideration and, I believe, that is part of why I generally work fairly well with this colleague. That said - I've still felt the sting of more than one seemingly "overly harsh" editorial comment regarding my design and/or development work. To date my reaction has always been to attempt to overlook the apparent rudeness (chalking it up to a tact of overt tact). I've considered this colleagues comments and attempted to adjust my own work when I felt the comments had merit. Alternately, when I felt the comments were incorrect, of the mark, or demonstrated a misunderstanding on this colleague's part - I've endeavored to explain why my original work was correct.

Today, I realized that I tend to approach such critique (both from this colleague and from others) in a very defensive manner. I had not recognized it as defensive because I try to take a very analytical (non-emotional) stance when I explain my reasoning... but... I now understand... what I am actually doing is defending my "rightness." Basically - I'm still viewing as either "I'm wrong and the critic is right" or "I'm right and the critic is wrong." This subtle because I learned the politics of defending myself intellectually many years ago. All those art and drama critiques served me well. In art and drama there is often no right answer... there are just the choices you've made regarding the motivation for your work, your character portrayal, etc. During a critique, your are not being told that you should have done something different... rather, you are asked to explain the why. You must dig deep into your conscious and sub-conscious and find where your inspiration and intent is coming from and then articulate it to your peers. Years of practice doing this in somewhat formal group settings is probably one of the reasons I'm good at self-reflection.

What is interesting is that I did not transfer this "no right or wrong" to my work outside of the "arts." So in my professional life - I look at critique in much the same way a student might look at a paper marked up in red by their teacher. Either it is wrong and I'd better change it (to get the better grade) or it is "right" and I must defend it to the teacher.

Today - I think I've given myself a glimpse of a different way.

In the narrative for an application demonstration (to be recorded) I had written "For this demonstration, I want to search for self-paced training. I'll click the Method Type field and select Self-paced."

My colleague (who was performing a peer review of my work) wrote the comment: "Just wondering if this is really a valid example. Technically, everything in iMentor is self-paced from the point of view that it doesn't require a specific date/time. So, why would someone want to search for only a specific Method Type? I think I would just demonstration using the Content Type search. But... up to you."

My initial reaction to this was two fold. First, I felt her use of "But... up to you" was a bit... well 'passive aggressive.' I told myself to ease up - that she probably was just trying to be considerate of my reasoning. Second, I knew she was wrong. The method "self-paced" is not based on date/time but rather based on the functionality of the lessons. We have recorded conferences and webcasts which are not defined as self-paced... but rather as a method type of their own in our training catalog. These method types had been clearly defined early in this very same training (prior to the place where the demonstration would be presented). My inclination was to call my colleague up and explain to her that "self-paced" as compared to "webcast" and "recorded web conference" (and a few other modalities) had already been explained and that it was absolutely appropriate for someone to search for the method type of "self-paced." In the past, when she has made comments that I felt were in error or based on erroneous information, I've always called her and explained the situation and my reasoning... sometimes that's the end of it and sometimes she explains her point. These conversations are always very amiable (we genuinely like each other and do work well together)... but they really are about each of us "defending" our pov.

Today - I did something different. I looked at her comment, thought about it, and realized that there was a clarification I could make that would retain the correct information but also incorporate the interpretation that she represented with her comment. Rather than call her and have a friendly conversation and/or debate regarding the validity of searching by method type... or possibly having a debate regarding how we should define "self-paced" training (which currently only includes our interactive training events not the pre-recorded ones that the learner just sites and watches and listens to).... I changed the narrative text to read: "For this demonstration, I don't want to look at any webcasts or recorded web conferences, so I'll select Self-paced in the Method Type field."

This serves two purposes - 1. It demonstrates the Method Type filter (as I intended to do) and 2. It reinforces the earlier information about how method (or modalities) are defined in our system.

This is important because it means that I recognized that we both had (have) valid points of view and that our two POVs are not mutually exclusive.

I don't have to accept criticism... or rather... accepting it doesn't necessarily mean supplanting something I've done for the way someone else would do it ... or ... alternately defending the way I'm doing and explaining why I don't need to change it. I need to look at criticism more closely ... more deeply. Rather than become defensive - I need to ask myself... what isn't clear... what is it that I'm trying to convey that isn't getting across that is why this person has the criticism that they have? I thought I was already doing that ... buy explaining my reasoning... but... while explaining my reasoning to the critic might mean that the critic comes to understand my position... it doesn't mean that my position is clear to anyone else. The work I create (whether professional instructional design or art work) must be able to speak for itself because I won't always be there to explain it. I don't want any of my work (writing, instructional design, art, etc.) to be so obscure and opaque that I must always be there to explain it.

Communicating about the disconnect

2005-04-05T11:53:00.000-07:00

This is not a full post... but I don't want to forget about this and so thought I would record it here. I met with my manager today (regular weekly progress meeting). We were discussing monthly reports, some new management tools the company has provided to him (and other managers) and the over all push to change the company culture in to a more collaborative, team-player, "we all mater" type culture. So - I took a chance and talked to him about some of the specific example I've seen of a disconnect between this desired culture and the actions that the company is taking. Rather than simply complain about "cost containment," "lack of resources," etc - I explained how confusing it is to read an announcement about the latest effort to celebrate our new culture but then 5 min. later receive an email explaining that we can no longer purchase office supplies w/o director approval. Turns out that very example came up at the last manager meeting and that it led to a discussion about the dispensing communication situation.

So - I went out on a further limb. Recently the company has been pushing (err... promoting) the idea of singling out individuals in different groups who are doing a particularly great job of exemplifying the new culture. Each department is being asked to pick three people from other departments that truly stand out as working to represent this new culture. While this is a nice idea and it is certainly gratifying to get individual recognition - I pointed out that if the culture is really about working together than what we should be promoting is examples of groups that have exemplified excellent collaboration. I suggest that in addition to rewarding individual contributions, we might want to find a way to celebrate examples of collaborative contributions. I even offered a few examples of recent projects that I'm aware of (not necessarily ones I've been personally involved in either) where it was the collaborative effort that made it happen and where that collaborative effort not only included the various individuals who specifically worked on the project but also the other individuals who supported them in some way (by taking up slack elsewhere, by providing consultations, etc.). He (my manager) thought this was an excellent idea and plans to bring it up at the next managers meeting. It will be most interesting to see if anything comes of this. I certainly hope it does.

Realizations

2005-03-30T19:25:00.000-08:00

I've spent the last four or five days "waiting" until I had the "time" to post ... but realistically I'll never have the time if I keep waiting for it. One would think that I would have learned that lesson by now.

I picked up a new book a bit over a week ago. I'd finished reading the required and optional books for this term and I was having a particularly frustrating day at work (fixing yet more work done by a former colleague who apparently was much more unhappy than any of us realized ... if the state of his work is any example). By lunch time I had a horrible headache (bordering on a migraine)... I couldn't go home... so I went for a walk instead and ended up at the bookstore (about a 15 min walk from work). The walk helped my headache (just getting out of the building probably did wonders too)... so I was in a much better mood by the time I arrived at the bookstore. As I wandered the isles, several titles caught my eye. As usual, I wanted to buy them all - but I refrained (telling myself that I had to save my "book" money for next term's reading)... but then... I saw a little yellow book sitting on a table full of much larger and more impressive looking books. The title read: "The Art of Possibility - Transforming Professional and Personal Life" by Rosamund Stone Zander and Banjamin Zander. I picked it up, skimmed a bit of it and found that I didn't want to set it back down. Something told me that I could really use this book. I wandered about the store for another 10 minutes or so, carrying the book the whole time, and realized that I truly didn't want to leave there without it... so I bought it.

I've had time now to read about half the book. One of the most profound ideas (for me) expressed is the idea of letting someone start with an A. For example, "labeling" your students from the beginning as "A" students... this does not mean putting on the proverbial rose colored glasses... it doesn't mean "everyone starts with an A and all you have to do is keep it" either. What it really means is a fundamental internal shift in the way we think about the people we work with, the people we teach, the people we relate to, etc. It means that we assume that they are or want to be engaged and passionate about what they are doing, what they are thinking, what they are learning, etc. It means that when we perceive that someone is not engaged, not connected, not "working hard" - that we don't assume that they are lazy, inferior, etc... rather we assume that there is something amiss that is affecting this otherwise excellent, engaged individual.

As I read this book - I think about my attitude at work. I think especially about my own internal dialogue regarding the work that I do and the work that everyone else does. It is difficult and a bit embarrassing to admit - even in a blog or to myself - but I tend to think that I care more than everyone else. As I apply greater scrutiny to myself - I realize that I've often made an assumption that others just don't really care. It goes hand-in-hand with the idea that "if I want something done right, I must do it myself." It is subtle - I recognize the excellent quality of the work so many of my colleagues do... but I also seem to have an assumption that they would rather be doing something else... that they don't care quite as much... don't have quite the passion that I do. I make this assumption more about some than about others... and there are a few people I don't make it about at all... but as I look closely I realize that I'm basing these judgements on my own definition of what demonstrates engagement, commitment, and passion... I also think that by making the assumption that someone else doesn't care ... or doesn't care as much... I relive myself of any responsibility for whatever might be discouraging them... or I give myself permission to not look and see if there is something that I can do to change the environment.

Ironically - without having a label for it until now - I was most guilty of doing this with the colleague that I now find myself working most closely with. Six months ago - I assumed that he just didn't really care anymore. I "recognized" that he had good reason for it (various issues regarding management, lack of recognition, lack of advancement, etc)... but I also "gave-up" on him before ever really thinking about how I might make a difference. I made the assumption that because I didn't have the power to give him a promotion, a raise, or a bonus... (and those were the things he talked about) - that there was "nothing I could do" and I therefore need not try. When I finally realized that there were other things he was looking for and ways that he and I could work together to achieve them - I, in effect, changed his "grade" in my own mind. I went from thinking about him as someone who didn't really care to thinking about him as someone who cares deeply, has great passion for what he does, and was so disillusioned that he had disengaged as a way of protecting himself from disappointment. Once I gave him the "A" - I naturally started to think of him as a talented professional who I wanted to work with. The growth for both of us over the last few months has been amazing.

But- as I read this book - I realize that I have not given everyone I work with an "A." Maybe that is why they are more certain of their trust in me than they are of my trust in them... maybe they sense that I have been harboring a bit of a superiority complex (hiding it from myself as well as from them).

So - my new challenge is to try to do that - to give them all the A. It isn't about giving someone the "opportunity to rise to the occasion." It isn't even about assuming that they can "rise to the occasion." Rather, it is about knowing that they are already there. I need to look at all my colleagues as professionals who are engaged in and passionate about their work. When I see someone who is disconnected - I need to ask my self "what is amiss.. what has affected this normally passionate and engaged colleague?" I need to stop giving myself permission to be lazy and simply assume that they don't care as much as I do. I need to be carefully aware of when I am making that assumption - when I am allowing myself to be lazy in my opinions and attitudes.

This feels like the beginning of a new cycle. My question is if I give all my colleagues an "A," will that simple change improve the work I do with them? Will that demonstrate for them that I trust them and respect them?

I think the biggest challenge will be go give our manager an A. Right now, we are all quite frustrated with him. Clearly we do not understand what he is doing or where he is coming from. We think we do, and based on the assumptions we've all made, we grow less and less fond of him.

I wonder if there is a way for me to give him an A and somehow impact the attitude the rest of the team has about him - without giving the impression that I'm simply "kissing up" and overlooking all the behaviors that so frustrate us.

Responses and progress all in one week!

2005-03-20T18:44:00.000-08:00

Well - this has been quite a week!

So far 8 out of 13 have responded to my survey. Since I've kept it anonymous - I have no way of know exactly which 8... which is good... as I suspect the other 5 may not respond... the email w/ the invitation is surely buried beneath dozens of more recent emails by now. But - I'm keeping the survey open through next week, just in case.

The responses.... well... in some ways they are not all that helpful... but... there are one or two interesting things to note. Nearly all the responses were either "Agree Strongly" or "Agree" ... or some other form of a positive or very positive response (for those questions that had a different set of answers). There was one "no opinion" on one question.

The two things I found most interesting (and will bear some influence on how I format my request for peer reviews I think) was that while the majority of respondents "Agreed Strongly" to the questions asking if they respected me and trusted me... the choices flipped (more said only "Agree") for the questions asking if they know that I respect and trust them. I thought this flip/flop was telling... my colleagues are very sure that they respect and can trust me... but they are not quite as sure that I respect and trust them. So - I now need to explore how I can better demonstrate that trust and respect.

The other thing that I found quite interesting... for the questions where I asked if there had been any improvement (or depreciation) of my communication and my contributions to the team... most of the answers indicated that the quality of my communication and my contributions had stayed the same. A couple of responses indicated that I had improved... none indicated that I done worse. So - while I feel like I'm on the path to improving, the team perceives that I've stayed the same. Now... this could mean that they all think I was great to begin with... ;) But - I think it means that I still have something to work on there. Again - this will come up again in the peer reviews I will request from my colleagues.

Now - on to other progress.

Sign number 1 of progress:
Late in the week before this past week, I received notice of a local and very economical professional development opportunity through our local ASTD chapter. The local chapter offers short (2 hour) workshops/presentations once a month on Friday mornings (8am to 10am... roughly). Recently, they've held these workshops/presentations in a conference room at the hotel adjacent to the building we work in. This month's presentation was on Learning Styles and Cultural Considerations in eLearning design/development. Because this is a professional organization for Training and Development, the presentations are not always so directly related to what we (the eLearning designers/developers) do... As I always do when I see such an opportunity, I sent an email to the group. But - this time I did it a little different. I sent an email to the group and the managers... and rather than just say "look at this interesting event that's happening next week"... I formed the email as a question to the managers... "There is an timely and potentially useful presentation being offered by the Local ASTD chapter next week. It is being offered next door and it is only $20 (per person) to attend. What do we need to do to get the expense approved for any of us who want to attend?" Our manager then said that we should just let the administrative assistant know by Friday if we planned to attend and he would take care of getting the check cut. As it turned out, I and three of my colleagues attended. The presentation itself offered some good information and prompted some interesting discussion on how we as the designers sometimes impose our own preferred learning style on the lesson and forget to consider the other potential learning styles of our audience (clients). The discussion was not extensive, but this is the first time more than one of my colleagues have attended one of these presentations with me... so I consider it a big step. I'm just glad the presentation was interesting and applicable to our work - that will help to encourage future participation.

Sign number 2 of progress:
Instant messaging today w/ the colleague I've been working on the online symposium presentation with. During the course of a mostly social conversation (a little business and also I was beta testing a new site he is working on for a contract job)... he told me how much he appreciates all the ways that I'm working with him... he said that he recognizes how much I've done to help him and he really appreciates it. That's nice... but here is the really good part... he also said that we all (the whole team) need to work harder to recognize and publicly acknowledge each other's value... what we bring to the team. He said that now that he is a senior (yes... he finally made senior... don't know if I've mentioned that in here) he will make an effort to make sure we are all aware of what we all bring to the team - that we all value each other. That is HUGE and it makes me very happy - as I think it could be a real breakthrough if we could make our group dynamics more about acknowledging how much we value each other (and what we value about each other) and less about how frustrated we are w/ the company, our manager, or whatever the gripe of the week is. The gripes will still be there, but we will have something to fall back on... someone's shoulders to stand on... someone to support us in a positive way.

So - my next step is to figure out how to inspire more of the same. I'd like to get started working on peer reviews (for myself). Also - my IM conversation with my colleague today has me thinking that I might want to try a classmate's excellent suggestion of handing out index cards (or something like that) and asking everyone to write one thing (for each person on the team) that they value about their team-mate. I have to think about how best to present it so that it doesn't seem like some kind of party game... and so that it is different from the "Mahvalous" coupons that the company already encourages. Ok... that's all for tonight - gotta make my potluck item for work tomorrow.

The big leap

2005-03-17T07:46:00.000-08:00

Finally found a free online survey that met my needs (thank you Zoomarang!) Most of the free sites only allow surveys of about 10 questions. I needed to post a 20 question survey. I'd almost given up on using a free online tool - but then I found Zoomarang. Zoomarang allows for up to 30 questions with their basic (free) service.

I sent out the link to all my colleagues this morning. It will be interesting to see if everyone fills it out. With all the pressure to work more, faster, better, faster, faster, faster, more, more, more... it is easy to put off things that are not "revenue generating." I'm not sure if I'm more nervous that they will fill it out and I will not like the results or that they won't fill it out at all.

My hope is that I get enough results to be able to make a real evaluation of whether or not the team feels that I communicate well and make valuable contributions. Then - based on that data, I will write up a template for a peer review form and ask for more detailed peer reviews. I'm not sure yet if I will ask for peer reviews from everyone or just a randomly selected sample. I will leave the managers (and director) out of the peer review process - as they have a formalized opportunity to review my work on a regular basis.

The long list of questions

2005-03-08T15:55:00.000-08:00

The following is a list of all the questions I'm considering for my survey. As I don't want to overwhelm my colleagues - I will have to either refine this list or break the survey in to more than one part (to be delivered at different times). For now - I've only included answer choices where I wasn't sure that I would remember the answer format I intended when I came up w/ the question.

Susan communicates openly and honestly.

Susan helps to maintain the team’s focus.

Susan recognizes and values the talents and abilities of her colleagues.

Susan openly shares skills and knowledge with her colleagues.

Susan encourages her colleagues to acquire new knowledge and gain new skills.

Susan demonstrates respect for her colleagues.

Susan values the ideas and contributions of her colleagues.

Susan actively listens to her colleagues’ ideas.

Susan contributes productive ideas and solutions.

Susan encourages colleagues to share their ideas.

Susan demonstrates that she cares about her colleagues as people.

Susan takes responsibility for her work and her decisions.

Susan encourages a supportive team environment.

Susan makes an effort to learn about her colleagues.

Susan keeps her colleagues informed about the progress on her projects.

Susan demonstrates a commitment to the team.

Susan contributes positively to team morale.

Susan communicates in a clear and positive manner.

Susan demonstrates that she trusts her colleagues.

Susan demonstrates that she feels her colleagues can trust her.

Susan shows respect for her colleagues.

I feel that Susan values me as a team member.

I feel that Susan values me as a person.

I feel informed about what Susan is currently working on.

Susan values my input on her projects.

Susan values the contributions I make to the Education team.

Susan encourages me to express my own ideas.

Susan is open and responsive to my ideas.

Susan encourages me to pursue my own learning and professional development.

Susan is knowledgeable about the work that I do.

Susan takes time to listen to me.

Susan shows an interest in what I have to say.

Susan contributes positively to my morale.

Susan cares about me as a person.

I feel comfortable working with Susan.

I can trust Susan.

I know that Susan trusts me.

I respect Susan.

I know that Susan respects me.

Susan demonstrates honest and ethical behavior.

When Susan contributes information, I ____________.

a. always believe her
b. usually believe her
c. believe her about half of the time
d. usually cannot believe her
e. almost never believe her

Overall, how satisfied are you with Susan’s contributions to the team?

Overall, how satisfied are you with the way Susan communicates?

Overall, how would you rate Susan’s communication skills?

How well do you fell you know Susan?

a. Very well.
b. Fairly well.
c. I know a little about her.
d. I know nothing about her.
e. Knowing about her is not important.

Compared to six months ago, how would you rate the quality of Susan’s communication?

Compared to six months ago, how would you rate Susan’s contributions to the team?

Compared to six months ago, how would your rate your level of trust in Susan?

How long have you worked with Susan?

a. Less than six months.
b. Six months to one year.
c. One to two years.
d. Two to three years.

What best describes your job function?

a. Support staff.
b. Non-supervisory staff and/or team-member.
c. Senior staff and/or team-member.
d. Manager
e. Director

Cycle or not?

2005-03-06T11:20:00.000-08:00

The Cycle One quandary. I've posted about his on Bb and I'm about to write up a potential cycle summary... this blog is not exactly a rough draft of that... it is, rather, a place for me to sort of distill my thoughts about the actions I've taking over the last months, why I was so hesitant to call them a cycle while I was taking them, and why now if look back at them and wonder if they are a cycle.

First - to get this out of the way (sort of release it from my conscious and subconscious thoughts)... I'm rather angry (or maybe exacerbated is a better word) with myself. I feel that I allowed myself to sort of cop-out on an opportunity at the beginning and I'm still not completely sure why I did it (although I have to suspect that some sort of fear of failure is part of it). The moment I saw the call for proposals for the virtual eLearning seminar, I knew that it would provide an excellent opportunity for my colleague... at the same time, given the climate at work at that time (and the climate in our department) - I as quite sure that he either would come up with some reason not to do it or would start out interested and then "drop the ball." So - while a made a very deliberate and conscious decision to present the opportunity in a different way from how I'd presented such things in the past - I was reluctant to call it a cycle in my research because I sort of assumed (without giving it any critical thought) that it wouldn't work and I didn't want my first cycle to fail. I told myself that I was waiting until I could set a baseline (w/ survey result) and then continuously found reasons why I could not yet created that survey (and thus the initial baseline) - I didn't realize it at the time... but looking back it seems rather obvious that all my excellent reasons (lit review, survey research, letters of consent, etc) were just clever ways of not allowing myself to view my current actions as part of the project.

So what do I do now? Why do I think in retrospect that my work with this colleague was a cycle? What is a cycle?

What was the issue or problem? - I was feeling a significant amount of stress and potential conflict when I worked with one of my colleagues. I could (and did not want to) simply choose to not work with him - yet when I worked with him on specific projects I found myself constantly frustrated and irritated by both his work style and the way he communicated his ideas. His style (0f work and communication in genera) is often phrenetic and easy to interpret as hyper and lacking focus. My inclination was to avoid working with him... or to try to "rein him in" and get him to adhere to a schedule based on my evaluation of the project needs. This was not working... so I found myself trying to learn how to do the things I needed on my own, so has not to have to ask him for assistance or collaboration. The frustrating part was that I genuinely like him - as a person and as an artist .. and I have a great deal of admiration and respect for his talents as an artist.

This was the situation before I started OMET or my ARP. As I began my initial research for my ARP I began to realize that to work with him, I would have to look at my own work and communication style because I can only make changes to my own practice - not to someone else's. I started by asking myself why I was so very frustrated by his style and realized that while I can also be somewhat hyper and multi-focused (focused on multiple tasks) = his knack for demanding attention on his schedule without regard for the fact that he might be interrupting someone else's focus (my focus) was a significant part of what bothered me. Then I took a close look and realized that it was my responsibility to maintain my focus, that if I didn't want to be pulled away on his whim than I had to protect my own focus and set some boundaries. I started restraining myself from immediately responding to emails and other requests for attention... waiting instead until an appropriate point in my own workflow to stop and pay attention to other things. At first, this caused increased tension because he became frustrated by the fact that he thought I was ignoring him. So - I tried to find ways to maintain my own focus while acknowledging his needs. I discovered that I didn't need to drop everything I was doing and pick up his task - rather I could simple acknowledge that I'd received the email or heard his call and that I would get to it in a bit.

Once I did that, I was able to start listening more carefully (and reading more carefully). On the surface, he was simply trying to share all the fantastic and interesting things he knew and/or was discovering about the various tools he uses and was tasked with teaching the rest of us how to use. By emphasizing his own excitement, he was hoping to ignite a similar excitement in his colleagues. As I looked past the surface, I began to realize that there was something else, something potentially more significant going on. With each of his communications (whether via email or face-to-face) my colleague would preface all information with some variation of one or both of two basic statements... 1- "I'm not a good writer and you guys have to realize that." 2 - "I'm not a teacher and I'm trying to teach teachers... so you all have to cut me some slack." I realized that I was taking these statements at face value and not looking further than that for what he was really saying. As I thought about this, it became clear to me that he was trying to mitigate the possibility that we would criticize either his writing technique or his teaching methods. Once I understood that, I began to listen more carefully... occasionally he would make his statements in ways that could be interpreted as asking for help and guidance (not always... but sometimes).

So - I began to look for opportunities. When I worked with him and/or when we worked with the various tools that he was teaching us how to use, I would "think out-loud" so that he would be privy to how I learn best. When he would try to take over ("Drive" has he calls it) - I would ask him not to and explain that I learn best when I do the work myself with my instructor providing guidance but not just doing it for me (as an "example") and then telling me what was done and how it was done. We began to talk about the different ways that people learn. This was important because it helped him reflect on how he learns and also on the fact that he was trying to teach us all in the same way because he was tasked with teaching us all the same material. I wasn't actually sure that was happening until I heard him talking to someone else about how I and another colleague learned better if we could work directly with the tool, while another team-member preferred to be shown all the basic information and then given written steps to follow.

None of this is what I consider part of a cycle, it is just an example of how I was becoming more aware and what I was doing with that awareness (to affect my own practice).

Once I began practicing a more active type of listening and a more mindful way of paying attention to more than just what was being said - I began to hear and see some signals that my colleague wanted to learn from us as well as teach us. He wanted to learn to be a better writer and a better teacher. So - when I saw the call for proposals, I sent him an email w/ the link and followed it up w/ an instant message (a form of communication he is quite partial to) indicating that I honestly felt he had a great deal to offer and that this would be an excellent opportunity for several reasons. He was interested in the idea of presenting a session at this online symposium but he seemed somewhat reluctant as he did not feel that he could complete the initial task of writing up the proposal. The way he expressed his reluctance was to belittle his own writing by saying something like "I'm not a writer...etc."

In the past I might have let this drop... assuming that as an adult, if actually wanted my help writing the proposal, he would ask (he had asked me to review other written work). This time I didn't do that... instead... I evaluated what was required for the proposal (so that I would know what I was talking about) and then I sat down with him over some morning coffee. For the most part, I listened. I asked him, if he were to make such a presentation, what would he want the attendees to walk away with (in terms of knowledge and/or ability). He had several good ideas. All quite valid and far more eloquent than he gives himself credit for. So - I began to write down what he said (as verbatim as possible). Than I explained what the proposal required and showed him how what he had just described met the requirements of the proposal and also where we would need to supply additional information. I realized as I wrote down his additions, that he is very good with words and knows how to express himself but becomes unsure of that ability when he is required to write it down. When our conversation was done, I showed him what we had and then we tweaked it together. I continued to encourage him throughout the process. This was another important lesson. The encouragement was crucial - he needed and it was something that he was missing in general in our work environment. More specifically - he needed it in terms of his ideas (his "writing") and his ability to teach those ideas to others. He receives a great deal of affirmation of his creative talent and technical skills, but because he consistently tells everyone what a poor writer he is and equally consistently tells everyone that he is not a teacher - he receives little or no encouragement (much less affirmation) in those areas. As we worked on the proposal, I saw his excitement and his confidence (in that he truly did have something of value to offer to a world bigger than just our team) grow.

The proposal was good - I "wordsmithed" it - but they were his ideas and I made sure that our manager and director recognized that. The organization that was sponsoring the online symposium showed interested in the proposal and conducted an extensive telephone interview with my colleague. I was able to witness his conduct during this interview and it was exemplary. The proposal opened the door for the interview, but it was because of the interview that he was asked to present ... not because of the proposal. He presented himself as the knowledgeable, talented, and articulate professional that I knew he was.

Now - I continue to provide assistance (guidance and facilitation) as needed. I've helped him to narrow the outline for his topic so that it should fit into the 75 minute slot. We will work on the power-point presentation slides and the "script" for his live demos together as well. He as begun to write up his initial ideas himself (much in the way I taught him- just writing down his thoughts and worrying about all the grammar and such later). I've seen this confidence carried over into other contexts at work (both in the way he works within the team and also in the way he interacts with other teams and departments). As I continue to reflect on our work together, I also see myself changing my own methods. I find that I've come to better understand the importance of making an effort to connect with my colleagues on more than must a professional level. I've made a more concerted effort to find areas of interest that we share. I've consciously tried to listen in a more active way, whether we are talking about projects at work or interests outside of work.

I regret now that I did not conduct a quick survey at the outset... way back in September or November... so that I would have a true baseline the I could compare to later surveys.

I still wonder if this is a cycle... perhaps - due to my own failings... it is more of a pre-cycle. Either way - it should be written up... it has had a profound effect on my own methods of working and has led to several very important self-realizations (as indicated by previous blog entries).

I need to ask myself more questions

2005-02-28T19:10:00.000-08:00

I seem to be quite stuck. I want to use a survey to help me understand how my colleagues view my work with the team and my communication with the team.

I keep writing questions and then discarding them. Why should this be so very difficult? I've written plenty of survey and assessment type items... heck, I'm currently the project lead for our new course evaluation surveys .

So why such clay feet when it comes to this more personal survey? Am I afraid that I will find that my colleagues don't believe that my work is of value or quality or that I don't communicate with them well? I suppose there is some fear - how could there not be some apprehension about putting myself out there to be commented on and criticized? But - I don't think that is really the reason - at least not the reason I'm having such a hard time coming up with a list of questions that I'm satisfied with.

I think maybe the real problem is that I'm not sure how to compose questions that will really focus on what it is I want to find out. Am I perhaps not being honest with myself about what it is I want to know? Have I just not figured out what it is I really want to know?

Ok... let's go with the second possibility... what is it I want to know?

I want to know if my colleagues think that I am a valuable member of the team.

I want to know if my colleagues think that I make important contributions to the team and to the work of our department.

I want to know if my colleagues fell that I am open with them about what I am working on and about my role in the department.

I want to know if my colleagues believe that I am honest with them.

I want to know if my colleagues believe that am interested in the work that they do.

I want to know if my colleagues believe that I value the work that they do.

I want to know if my colleagues believe that I understand the work that they do.

I want to know if my colleagues believe that I trust them.

I want to know if my colleagues feel that they can trust me.

Well - that wasn't hard... so how do I write questions that assess these things in a simple, straight forward way? Do I use a Likert scale type response system (what I've been assuming I'd use), a yes/no system (?? I don't think so), open-ended response questions (not sure that should be part of the first round).... multiple choice questions? (probably not).

Ok... so it looks like Likert scale is the way to go (as I'd already assumed). Now... I need to write the questions in such a way as to not add too much bias ... in other words... I need to write the questions in a way that doesn't imply the answer... maybe that's what I'm having the most difficult with. I don't want to waste my colleagues time w/ a survey that is not useful... I don't want to make it overly long... but I need to build in some redundancy to see if the responses to similar questions correlate.

I have 9 basic "I want to know" items listed (above)... so two questions for each item? That would mean an 18 question survey. Not too bad.

Ok... so.... now I have to write the questions, make the survey, and ask for some critique from my LC...

New goal... finish final draft of survey questions by tomorrow before our LC meeting... that way we can perhaps discuss them during TI... and I can post the survey before the end of the week.

I also need to start thinking about ways to write up what I've already done... I'm not sure it constitutes Cycle 1... my original plan was for the first cycle to be the initial survey... to provide sort of a baseline... but as I look back on the past few months (my blogs, my discussions w/ various LC members, other work) - I find that I've already done a lot of work on my communication and collaboration - with some significant success. My work with L on his presentation for the online symposium has been the most dramatic example... I'm been so pleased with the change I've seen in myself , the work we've done together, and the effect it has had on the team.

I've also worked to establish a connection with other team members... I've spent time listening and watching and learning what it is each person does that is unique and then looking for what connection I might have with them. Not a contrived or fake connection - but a real connection (some interest or endeavor we have in common) - and then take the connection and find a way to use it to help us work together.

I need to write up my reflections on these things in a more formal way and then organize them so that I can tell if this is pre-cycle work... or if, indeed, I've somehow managed to conduct a cycle w/o setting it up formally (not sure that is a valid method... but I do need to document these things for myself if for no one else).

Buy in

2005-02-22T20:33:00.000-08:00

Passed out all the letters of consent today. Everyone signed them! Actually - that wasn't all that surprising - as I've really worked to keep everyone comfortable with the idea that I would be asking for their help with my research for school. But - there is often the attitude that if it isn't work related and it isn't fun then they don't want to be "bothered" with it. I've seen this attitude with other projects... I really hoped that they wouldn't view this as just "helping me with my school work"... that instead they would see that I am hoping to improve my practice at work and improve the way I work with them... but I couldn't really know for sure that they would view it that way.

So - I passed out the letters in person today and prefaced it w/ a verbal description of what Action Research is and how my goal is to improve my practice and my work with them through this research project. As I said... everyone signed them... but what was really nice was that several people asked further questions about the nature of the research AND they showed some real support for the project (enthusiasm one might even say). Perhaps the changes I'm already making in the way I collaborate really have had an impact. Or... maybe everyone was just being nice.... only time will tell. :) I do think the letter was a very good choice - as everyone seemed to really appreciate the fact that I was officially asking their permission to include them in the research... rather than just assuming that they would participate.

One very interesting thing - the more I explain AR and the more I have to describe to others what I'm researching... the more I come to understand it myself. Each time I explain it, I become a little clearer on what I'm doing.

The All Day Team Meeting

2005-02-17T20:13:00.000-08:00

Today was worth two or three.

I delivered a web conference this morning... nothing unusual there except that because I was scheduled to do so I also had to miss the first half of an all day team meeting.

During the recent re-org our director was also made director of the Technical Publications department... so now... Education (formerly Client Ed and Employee Ed) and Technical Publications are to be one big happy family... still two separate departments but also one big happy family.

To be perfectly honest, none of us (in education or tech pubs) was all that excited about this meeting. We are all currently short staffed and under the proverbial gun to meet (what we consider to be) some pretty unrealistic deadlines on several projects. Taking an entire day away from our development work to sit around and brain storm on "how we can create efficiencies" was not something any of us considered an efficient use of our time. None of our deadlines were pushed back even a day to accommodate this day-long meeting and since the meeting is about how to find ways to do more, better, and faster with less (less people, less money, less time, etc)... well... it is perfectly understandable why no one was all that excited. To add to the lack of motivation is the fact that currently there is a company wide edict for "cost containment" - this cost containment includes new rules for what office supplies we can purchase AND has caused the end of any overnight mailing except for sales contracts... this means that for remote employees who are tasked with reviewing and/or creating any kind of documentation or product that cannot be delivered virtually (email, across the network, etc) - they have to wait 3 to 5 days for delivery. Since the company is not yet on board with the idea of electronic signatures, this means that for items that need signatures from remote employees or employees at sites in different states the wait time can now be anywhere from 3 days to over a week (depending on how many locations are involved). But... even with all these cost containment efforts - our director chose to take us away from our work for an entire day to attend an off-site catered meeting at a fancy hotel. So - that sets the stage for the general attitude by the non-manager types toward this meeting. And who could blame any of use for this attitude.

To be honest again - given the general attitude - everyone else's and my own - I was not all that disappointed that I had to miss the first half of the meeting in order to deliver training to our clients. I enjoy delivering training to our clients and I wasn't all to sure that I would enjoy sitting there and listening to our managers present to everyone else what it is we do (or what it is they think that we do) in our department.

So - I went in early to set up the web conference, answered several emails, called a couple of clients who needed help or had questions, delivered the web conference (2 hrs), answered a couple more emails, left messages for a couple of clients who I could not reach, set up my "out of the office for the rest of the day" email and telephone messages, and headed off the to the meeting thinking I would be there just in time for lunch.

I walk into the conference room (after getting rather lost in the hotel lobby), and there is my manager only about half way through his portion of the "what my people do" presentation (guess the meeting is running late already). He says, and I quote, "...and look, here is Susan." And.. get this... everyone applauds... then some one from the tech pubs dept says "I understand you're going to belly dance for us at lunch." Nice - apparently (I learned this later) during the initial introduction to the Education staff - since I wasn't there to represent myself... my manager introduced me as the belly dancer and Pepperdine MA student (in that order). LOL. Fortunately, I think fast on my feet... so it was all in good fun and after the spontaneous applause they continued on with the presentation and then broke for lunch. My manager told me a lunch that I walked in at the best possible time because everyone was starting to kind of nod off and I really woke them all up... lovely.

So - after lunch we did "break-out sessions" where we were tasked first with listing the things our groups have in common and the challenges we have in common. Not a bad task - and we did find that we had more things in common that we might have assumed. To make a long afternoon sound short, we came up with 7 points that we want to work on... the interesting thing is that the plebs want to work on these things because we believe that it will make our daily lives in the company better... the managers (and director) want us to work on them because it will "maximize efficiency." Same path different goal. I'm concerned that having the goal of being more efficient is not, in the long run, as productive as the goal of having more passion for and enjoyment in ones job and colleagues... but perhaps it is just that I don't think like a manger. Actually - I should note that item 7 was more resources (people and tools), more official recognition (titles), and more pay. Our director wrote those things down and then said we would not discuss them further because they were not in our power to do anything about. While that may be true, I thought it was perhaps poor judgment to write off those concerns so quickly - as there is one thing all of us can do about it... polish our resumes and look for other work. I sensed there were several people in the room who were thinking that way and I thought to not acknowledge it all (as the director and managers chose to do) was not very attentive. Rather than dismiss that universal comment, I think perhaps they should have acknowledge it and then talked about some other ways we might be able to achieve job satisfaction in the face of "cost containment." Instead, the attitude was "just accept that you won't get that and move on."

I don't think I remember the other 6 things exactly... but here is my best recollection. 1- minimize duplication of efforts. 2 - Better SME (subject matter expert) availability and more accurate SME input/participation/reviews. 3. Share resources (which I thought was similar to number one but the managers thought was a separate thing). 4. More positive visibility, respect, and value within the corporation as a whole (for our departments). 5. More useful client feedback. 6. hmmmm... can't remember 6... I think it was similar to 4 though.

Each table (mixed groups, members from each department, like short-term learning circles) - was tasked with brain-storming ideas for meeting one of the 6 points (remember... we left 7 on the table).

The table I was at was tasked with finding ideas for need number 4. The pain-point behind number 4 is that both Tech Pubs and Education seem to feel that we are not valued in the corporate structure (by the upper management and by other departments). Further - that it is because our value isn't recognized that we sometimes don't get the help, resources, etc. that we need. So our task was to come up with ways to increase not only our visibility but also our sense of value in the company.

I sat and listened to what the others at my table had to say... Difficult for me to do... I like to jump right in with my ideas... but I forced myself to just listen first because there were several angry people at my table and as frustrated as I am w/ the whole situation right not... I'm not really "angry" or resentful... just ... disappointed. So - I listened. The first idea... When they all pretended was a joke but obviously wasn't all that much of a joke... was to withhold all documentation and training (internal and external) for 3 months and then see if the company would realize our value. I kept my mouth shut and let them vent. The next idea was more productive - it was to participate in product development meetings and make intelligent and useful comments (rather than just attend the meeting and take notes). The next idea was to hose some fun event that would involve other departments in finding out about all the great stuff our department does (like a scavenger hunt for technical publications and training opportunities). I continued to listen and started to think about the lesson we learned from the story about the wolves and the sheep (for Dr. G's class)... I started to think about what we were missing... what was the important BIG IDEA that we might be completely overlooking.

A few more suggestions were made... and then... it hit me... I thought I saw what we might be missing... So... I asked the following... "What departments in the organization feel valued?" At first the answers were Sales and Development and maybe Implementation. So I re-asked the question... first I said... "Ok.. .we think that the organization values those departments above the others... and that may be true... But... (and here is the important question)... What departments within this organization sit around a table and talk about how valued and respected they are?" Everyone thought for a moment... then someone said that while we think Product Development is highly valued... they don't see it that way... they think that the company values implementation and sales above them... and implementation thinks that sales and education is more valued ... and sales feels that development is more valued... and so on." After a very short time... we all agreed that each department feels like it isn't valued or respected when compared to other departments. So - then I suggested that perhaps hosting special events where we "toot our own horn" in the interest of telling everyone else how great we are may not be the best approach. Perhaps instead... we need to find ways to promote other departments contributions to the organization and then in turn we promote ourselves as well. We work with all these departments in one way or another... so why not promote our projects in such as way as to also highlight the contributions from these other departments. At first... everyone just sort of stared at me... and I thought I'd lost them. But then... I actually saw the lightbulbs going off over some heads... If we show them that we value and respect them, then they will come to value and respect US too! WOW... revelation.

Best of all... When we present our idea to the managers and director... I think we really blew them away... as I don't think even they had thought of that idea.

I don't know if it will work. There is still a great deal of resentment. But - I did feel the day was worth it just because of bringing that revelation to the table. At the end of the day... several people in the room commented that they felt the day was valuable because we had come to realize that we all have much more in common (what we do and what our challenges are) than we thought. Our director asked for ideas for future meetings and I suggested that we might want to have (on occasion... not too often cuz everyone is so busy) a meeting like this with another department (development, implementation, etc)... as we might discover that we have more in common with them than we thought too. I saw a minor revelation in a few faces there as well... not quite a dramatic as the other one... but still there. Very cool. I'm glad I took the time to listen first and then try to see what we were all missing. I'm glad I went to the meeting too. I don't think things will get better over night... and I still think our managers are not communicating as well as they might... but I see a lot of hope for the strength that may come from our groups creating a larger community for ourselves.

Ok... enough for tonight.

Self discovery.

2005-02-16T15:32:00.000-08:00

This is just a quick post. I don't have time to write much... but if I keep waiting until I have time I'll never record anything.

We worked on the outline for my colleague's online presentation today. It is going quite well and I see his confidence in himself and what he has to offer to others increasing. He is now interested in writing some white papers or articles for the eLearning Guild on some of the technical issues one encounters when trying to design online training with tools like Flash. I think this is an excellent endeavor for him to pursue!

I'm learning how to encourage without smothering and the more I work with him the more I'm learning about how to enable someone to accomplish something themselves rather than just do it for them or tell them all the steps they should follow to get it done. Most interesting is that I didn't realize that I wasn't doing that before, but when I look back on my interactions in the past, I realize that I have a tendency to either just clearly explain exactly how one should go about a specific task... or... if I have the time, I just offer to do it for them. I realize now that neither of those approaches is truly helpful in the long run. Sure - it means the task itself gets done and may get done quickly and correctly... but it also means that the next time a similar task needs to be accomplished I have not set up a situation where that other person will be better equipped to do it themselves. I think this is an extremely important lesson to learn and I am rather intrigued that I had not recognized the difference until now - or had not recognized that my actions didn't represent my own beliefs about learning. The echoes something I reflected on some time ago - that somehow the lessons I learned when I worked with students did not transfer to my work with professional colleagues. With students I made an effort to facilitate and enable their own discoveries but somehow I didn't transfer that type of action to working with adults in a professional collegial environment.

It makes me a bit sad that it has taken me so many years to recognize this. I wonder how many people I've hindered when I thought I was helping. Not much to be done about that except try to do better from now on.

I should probably cross post this in my mentor blog - as I think this realization is significant for that work as well.

One step at a time

2005-02-08T20:07:00.000-08:00

I need to do more official ARP work - although I can see how my relationships at work are being very positively effected (and affected) by all the reading I've done for my ARP and by the work I've done in other courses (both last term and this term - especially mentoring).... I need to officially start cycle one and I need to start being more diligent about writing my reflections in this blog rather than in person notes on paper and in other blogs as sort of tangential to what I'm reflecting on in those blogs.

I've set this Thursday (two days) as my personal deadline for composing my final draft of my informed consent letter and posting it on Bb for some peer review. I've set this weekend as my personal deadline for my first set of survey questions.

As far as work is concerned - it is very interesting to be part of and to observe from the outside at the same time. We - the small team of learning developers and instructional technologists (sans the managers) have grown much closer on a strictly personal/social level. The turmoil in the greater environment (corporation) has brought us together but has also made us more wary of everything that is not "one of us." On some levels this is a good thing because we rely on each other more, confide in each other more, and recognize each other's value more. On other levels this may not be so good - we feed into each other's suspicion of the "outsiders" (management for the most part), we tend to support each other in our opinions and attitudes even when those opinions and attitudes are not necessarily the most productive.

I've found that I've changed the way I voice what optimism I still have. I do believe that our team is safe (or at least as safe as any team can be in a for-profit, publicly traded, corporation) - but when we have conversations I also voice my concerns regarding how the corporation and our managers are communicating with us. I still voice the optimism too, but I mitigate it w/ the admission that I also see the disconnects and fell the frustration that others are feeling. I'm not being dishonest or disingenuous in doing this - I do see these things and feel the same frustration and concern that others do. I've found that if I articulate that along with the optimism other members of the team are more comfortable because they no longer feel that they are alone in their concern. What I am very aware of though is the danger of wallowing in that concern and not seeking other options, different approaches, or even solutions. So, when we are all discussing whatever pain points we have on a given day, I'm careful to try to bring the conversation around to options and possible solutions or alternate approaches at some point. For a while, I was the only one doing that and was general met with the attitude (or even the exact words) "...it's always been this way, there is nothing we can do to change it..." Recently, I've noticed that on occasion, I no longer get that response. I don't know if that means that attitudes are changing or if it means that everyone has just accepted that I'm trying to offer options and is just "letting me do my thing."

One really bright spot is how my relationship with L has evolved (I could probably use his real name in here... his websites are referenced on more than one of mine... but I'll forgo for now). Over a year ago now I began to sense that our relationship was becoming somewhat adversarial - good natured but not really what I would call productively supportive. In the last several months, I've made a concerted effort to stop assuming that he is being purposely obtuse or difficult. I've tried to really listen to what he is (and isn't) saying, to observe how he "is" when he is excited about something and when he isn't, and to take an interest in more of the things he does outside of work or on projects not connected to the projects I'm currently working on. I finally realized that even though he's been tasked with teaching the rest of us how to use the variety of technical applications we require (Flash, etc), there are several skills of his own that he would like to develop professionally and that he feels he could use help with. He was not asking for that help directly but he was making comments that sounded self-deprecating in a humors way but were really indications that he would like some professional development of his own. So, I began offering to work with him on specific projects or tasks (such as the proposal to present at the online conference) and at the same time asked him for assistance with my own work (Flash, illustrations, Fireworks and graphics stuff, etc). I also started watching a soap-opera with both him and another colleague during lunch a couple of days a week. Joining them for the soap opera viewing has become an important bonding activity. Working with L has become increasingly better and more satisfying over the last several weeks. Working on the proposal for the online conference was the lynch-pin.

We found out while I was at FETC that he has indeed been invited to present - so now I'm working with him to complete the rest of the paperwork and put together a solid outline for the presentation. He has gained a new sense of security in his job partially because of this outside (outside of the company) recognition of the value he (and his knowledge and expertise) offers. He has gained a new sense of confidence within the company because management is now impressed as well (nothing like being invited to present for a "conference" to get the management to notice you). I've also watched his own self-confidence grow as we worked on this project. What is most remarkable to me is that just a few short months ago I didn't recognize that there was a need for greater self-confidence there. Now, I wonder how I could have missed that. He is still the same extremely hyper and easily distractable person (which is one of the things that frustrated me in the past) - but I find that I just sort of accept that now as an integral part of his nature and am not so frustrated by it.

Ok... enough for tonight... I really need to start writing in here a little bit several times a week ... rather than a huge novel a few times a month.

I think I'm more excited than he is. :)

2005-01-20T11:02:00.000-08:00

Cross-posted in my Mentoring Blog:

I wrote last night about the co-worker who I encouraged to (and helped to) submit a proposal to teach an online seminar. Today he received a telephone call from the sponsoring organization. He participated in an extensive telephone interview regarding the proposal and his expertise, he did a fantastic job! The interviewer was very impressed and indicated that his proposal was on the short list and that he should hear back from them one way or the other next week sometime.
It was amazing and wonderful to watch him as the interview progressed. His whole posture changed (as did his face) - it was a bad morning here at work and this was more than just what he needed. Knowing that what he does, what he knows, and what he has to share is valued by someone else (someone from the "outside" of our little environment) is such a significant thing.
I'm equally amazed at how good this has made me feel - it's not a sense of pride either... rather it is a sense of deep gratitude (although I'm not sure who the gratitude is directed toward).
I do hope that when I return from FETC it will be to find that he has moved from the "short list" to the "presenter list."

Mentoring and ARP

2005-01-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

This is actually a crosspost of a portion of tonights mentoring blog. I put it here because it also has implications for my arp - as it involves the team at work.

There is one person at work who I wish I could mentor. This is an extremely talented team member who has worked hard to share with the rest of the team a unique skill set and the experience using it. This person is currently extremely frustrated with the apparent lack of acknowledgement, appreciation, understanding, (not to mention compensation) on the part of the management (the team members are tight but there is a significant disconnect between the value the team places on this person and the value the management demonstrates in this person). I wish I could work with this person to try and improve the way their contributions are viewed by those outside of the team (but in charge of the team). However - I'm concerned that in the current climate my attempts at creating a mentor relationship would turn into me trying to fix this person or save this person rather than growing with them. There is a lot of frustration and anger which is a complicated by a severe lack of trust in both the team management and the corporation as a whole. I think the best thing I can do right now (especially as one of the newer members of this team) is to be a dedicated team member and a friend - but not try to imposed myself a s a teacher or mentor when a teacher or mentor is not yet wanted.

Even though I have decided to not officially combine mentoring and my ARP, I have found that
thinking about, reading about, writing about, and reflecting on Mentoring has begun to have an impact on how I interact at work. I find myself approaching various situations with a different point of view. I find myself encouraging others to pursue interests in a different way. I listen differently to what is being said and look for ways to turn frustrating situations into an opportunity to take a different route. I'm trying to be more aware of openings and possibilities for trying something new. An opportunity presented itself earlier this month to write a proposal to teach an onlilne seminar - not in a subject I'm in a position to teach but one another team member would excel at. In the past, I've simply passed such opportunities on with a few words of encouragement and then left it up to the other person to apply or not. This time I paid more attention and realized that this person truly was interested in teaching the seminar, but had never written such a proposal and did not feel confident in their ability to write one. They didn't come right out and say that, but it was suddenly clear to me because of what they did/didn't say, their body language, etc. So, I took a chance and offered to sit down with them and talk about what might go into such a seminar and how one might write a proposal for it. I did not offer to write the proposal - but I did offer to help with the creation of it. Turns out, this person does not consider themselves a "good writer" but when freed of the need to "write it down" is very articulate. So I had them talk and basically took dictation. I asked some leading questions, based on what I know is generally included in such proposals, and helped put it all in order and make it look professional. I don't know if the proposal will be accepted (I think there is probably some significant competition for this one). In the end though, the collaboration involved in writing it taught us both a great deal. Best of all, someone who didn't think they were a "writer" walked away feeling much more confidant about their ability to articulate their thoughts and ideas.

I'm back from the great blog break.

2005-01-15T18:26:00.000-08:00

I took a bit of a break from journaling over the holidays. I thought I would start again with the New Year. I did, in my general journal. I’ve been avoiding journaling about my ARP though. Things have been somewhat uncomfortable at work throughout the holidays – and I think I felt as if it was OK to reflect on it in my head but I didn’t want to write anything down because that would somehow give the current climate more power. Odd, usually writing things down is cathartic, but in this case I felt like it would be more like putting fears to paper and or whining and complaining.

I’m now finally ready to write a long description of and reflection on the current situation at work.

A little over a week ago, the company I work for laid several people off. “Restructuring” some called it. Only 15 local employees were laid off, and of those the couple that I know personally actually made sense for a few reasons. The bulk of the people laid off were in another city where the company has decided to close operations. That office was product specific. In general, that office was only responsible for product development (not sales, support, etc.). It was a small office and rather autonomous when compared to there rest of the offices (which are neither product nor service type specific). The decision to close that office was months in the making and my guess is that the company had some other changes they wanted to make and decided to announce everything at once, rather than a little here and a litter there. From a purely business standpoint, I understand the decision (both the office closure and the local people who were let go). From an emotional, human point of view, it makes me uncomfortable with the corporate culture and reminds me that I sometimes feel I don't fit with this culture.

What I am most disappointed in is not the decision itself, but the way the decision or more specifically the process, was communicated. Rumors of lay-offs circulated through all the business units for several weeks leading up to the holidays. At one point the rumor was that 300 people or more would be laid off. Another rumor was that everyone who had been with the company for a certain number of years (generally in excess of 10) was being culled. Neither of these turned out to be true. Although there is still some feeling that the company wants to rid itself of the “old-timers.” It seems to me that this feeling is most prevalent among the “old-timers” themselves. The feeling is understandable, and in some cases it may even be true. The company is trying to change the culture in several ways and those that have been there a long time might be more apt to not want to participate in the changes. Or, the company may be more apt to think that it is the old-timers that are pushing back against the change, instead of recognizing that everyone is (at the moment) dubious of the authenticity behind the culture change.

The first mistake I think the company made was to not acknowledge the rumors in any way whatsoever. It is likely that there are many business and legal reasons why they didn’t acknowledge the rumors, but I still believe that not acknowledging the rumors seriously dampened morale throughout the month of December and allowed the fiction to supersede the reality. Perhaps there are some who think this sense of fear is a good thing, but I don’t think it made anyone more productive during an already stressful holiday season. The irony is that at the same time this was going on, we were being fed propaganda on the new “Peak Performance” culture that the company is trying to cultivate. Teamwork! Working together! Helping everyone be better, stronger, smarter, more efficient, etc, etc, ad nauseam. They even brought us all to a big assembly (reminded me of school pep-rallies), spoke to us in a “motivational way,” showed us the video Lessons from Geese, and then showed us the new company inspiration video. From what I observed, the message was definitely mitigated by all the rumors of lay-offs. The biggest personal irony is that I actually agree with many of the foundational ideas behind “peak performance” and the “goose video.” However, presenting it to us via a big mandatory attendance assembly, amidst the ever spreading rumors of massive lay-offs, made even me feel like we were trapped in the movie Office Space .

When the layoffs were finally announced (one week after New Years), it was far fewer people than were rumored. Of course, there was a distinct feeling that the subtext was that the people “no longer with us” had somehow not lived up to the “peak performance” model. It felt almost like a threat. We were assured by our director that these lay-offs were not for performance reasons but, rather, for “business” reasons. Unfortunately, the timing was at best unfortunate and at worst contrived to make us feel pressured to “adopt the new culture or else.” Personally, I felt torn. I like the ideas behind the “Peak Performance” (even if I don’t care for the ultra-slick presentation), but because of the climate I felt like I was being obsequious if I showed any enthusiastic or non-sarcastic support for it. I didn’t like feeling torn in that way, so I retreated into my work and tried not to participate in the rumor mill but also refrained from defending the company in any way. Looking back on it, that behavior was not very courageous. I think I missed out on some bonding opportunities both in the retreat and in the effort to not look like a naïve and/or idealistic “yes-[wo]man.” I don’t know yet if my actions were interpreted in either way by anyone else… but that’s how I feel about them.

Mistake number two: when the “restructuring” was announced, each director read to us (didn’t even bother to memorize) the official company statement about the business decisions behind “consolidating” the offices, “restructuring” some departments, etc. The directors did not tell us who was let go. We could, of course, figure out the immediate ones by whose faces (from our own departments) were not present at the mandatory “Organizational Announcement” meeting. The directors fielded questions, but for information on who was let go we were told to talk to our managers, who would be able to tell us if anyone in our department was laid off(which we had, of course, already figured out by then). When we asked our director how many people were affected company wide, she told us that even she didn’t know. According to her (and I have no reason to not believe her), each director only had access to information on changes in their own department. “Currently, only a few people know the total number of people affected.” She went on to say that “you all will probably know the total number before I do,” implying that the non-sanctioned information network works better for the plebs. So, we asked her if she could at least tell us how many local people were affected (we have several hundred working at two facilities locally). She gave us the same basic response, even she didn’t know. Within the day, rumors were that at least 100 people were laid off but no one would say if that was local, national, or international (the company employs over 6,000 world-wide). It already seemed fairly obvious that it was significantly less than 100 locally but there were those who said that this was only the start (that there would be another 50 next month). We lost one person in the department I work for (Education) and five people in the other department (Technical Publications) managed by the same director.

Today, the local paper published a story on it. 15 locals were laid off (no mention of national or international figures). According to the story, this is a simple one-time thing and not the first of many. The company is after all “investing in a new building” (to house both local facilities under one happy roof). Now, 15 doesn’t seem like that many (*unless of course you are one of the 15). It certainly doesn’t feel nearly as serious as the rumors made it seem. I’ve been through this a few times before. At the company where I used to work we did go through the “series” of “restructures” which in the course of two short years resulted in several hundreds of people being laid off (among them the team of 300 developers of which I was one). This current situation does feel quite different to me, so I tend to believe that this is not the first of several rounds of lay-offs (or at least it isn’t planned to be). Not everyone I work with has the benefit (wow, never thought I’d call it a benefit) of this prior lay-off experience. Many of the people with the company have been there for years (or with one of the acquired companies for years and then w/ this one since the acquisition in 2001). For those that have not been through it, especially the ones who were originally with a company acquired by this one, this is very frightening and demoralizing.

If we at been told right away that only 15 were affected locally, there might have been less fear and fewer rumors. Perhaps that fear was intentional. Perhaps someone thought it would make those left work harder and be better team-players. I hope not, but I have to acknowledge that it is a possibility. Whether or not that was the intention, I think the company made a serious mistake in not allowing the directors to tell us how many people were affected. It certainly gave this an air of decisions made behind closed doors and a culture of secrecy and disinformation. It is my impression, based on the current morale of many co-workers, that the company is in danger of sabotaging the entire “peak performance” culture change if they continue with this kind of communication strategy (or lack thereof) . The irony is that regardless of the “official message,” I think that with the exception of the office in the other city (that I already mentioned) many of the layoffs were at least partially performance based and that the company decided to just do everything at once rather than bit by bit (as I noted earlier). This is not to say that those individuals were performing poorly. The company is trying to move away from a product specific culture. At least one of the people who was laid off (who I know personally) only worked on projects for one product and never (in the time I’ve been there) contributed to projects for any other products. If this is the reason, then I think it would be much more productive to tell us that. Why try to convince us that this was just “general restructuring” and that those laid off were not singled out for any specific reason? By taking this stance, the company puts us all in the position of feeling like no matter what we do (or don’t do) we could be next. This hinders motivation rather than inspiring it.

Mistake number three: Recently, it was announced that several of our products (and the product support that goes along with them I believe) were acknowledged with some type of “best in industry” award. Woo woo, crit, crit! (old gaming exclamation, sorry). Our sales force has also had some big “wins” this quarter – bravo sales. So – the company wanted to celebrate and reward all our hard work. Free Cookies and Free (fancy) Coffee (from the “frou-frou” coffee vending machine in the fun room) were to be the reward – distributed on Friday afternoon. The free beverages became available starting at noon and the cookies were laid out promptly at 2pm. Ok… I’m sounding satirical here… but I think someone did feel that this was a nice gesture and, in my opinion, free fancy-coffee is always appreciated. So, where was the mistake you ask? Well, around 11am (or maybe it was 11:30) a company-wide email was sent. The subject of this email was “Cost-Containment.” The email very rationally and unequivocally explained that in the current competitive economical environment it is very important to keep a close eye on all budgetary expenses (nice business-speak… I should do this professionally). Ok, that wasn’t a quote… but close to it. It was then explained that several types of expenditures would hence-forth (ok… that’s theatrical-speak… but I like it) be subject to director approval (these are expenses that to date had required only manager approval and sometimes no specific approval at all). Another list of expenditures would now require VP approval (where before they only required director or in some cases manager approval). Simple, straight-forward (yet somewhat abstruse) bulleted lists were provided for each category. Among the things that now require director approval: unusual office supplies and some office furniture (no specifics about what “unusual” or “some” defines). Among the things that now require VP approval: all travel (other than sales related) and training (no indication as to the nature of the training… but I imagine that tuition reimbursement and any professional development expenses are included in that).

Now, neither the free celebratory goodies nor the memo constitute a mistake. Free stuff is cool, even if cookies and coffee are a bit …well… trite (I suppose free donuts are trite too, and everyone seems to love those). The memo on cost-containment is not unreasonable, although the ambiguity of some of the listed items is frustrating. No, what was the mistake, either by accident or design, was the timing. Send out an email on Thursday afternoon telling us how great we are, how great we are doing (less than two weeks after the whole lay-off scare), and that we get free goodies tomorrow to celebrate. Then, a few short hours before the big celebration, send out an email telling us that we really need to contain costs. Further, to contain the costs, some things previously viewed as standard expenses will now require a more rigorous approval process. Bah, bad timing. One hand is not keeping track of the other. Maybe I am just naïve, but I do think it is a case of poor communication. Others (some in my department) do not agree. They think this kind of thing is designed specifically to keep us a bit cautious, confused, and/or off balance. Whichever interpretation is closer to the truth, the fact is that nearly all the (30 dozen?) cookies were eaten (I didn’t have one… but that was a nutritional choice not a protest) but there was no party in the fun room (as there has been during prior similar celebrations). Instead, over the course of the afternoon people went in and grabbed a cookie and some coffee (I did partake of the free coffee) and then went back to their desk and worked (or kept their heads down anyway).

<>So, how does all this impact my ARP? Why did I write about it in this blog, rather than my other blog or my personal journal?

As I walked to and from work the last few weeks, I’ve thought a lot about what is happening at work, what the atmosphere feels like, and how this might affect my ARP approach. I still intend to make the first cycle self-centered (survey others and interview them on how I’m communicating with them and participating in a collaborative way… their perceptions of that) – but I now suspect that I need to concentrate more on the various aspects of successful, healthy teams that became the final focus of my literature review. I’m reviewing and rewriting my action plan to incorporate this. It is no longer about simply breaking down some physical walls (the cubes) – it is about figuring out what the real walls are - the non-physical ones that have become more tangible in this new somewhat uncomfortable climate.

I do think this is a better approach because once I made the decision to do this, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I also started to feel fully recovered from the hideous cold/throat ailment that I’ve suffered from since right after the New Year.

What do you do?

2004-12-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

This is a quick post. Its in here because it relates to workplace communication (and thus to my ARP).

I've had a headache for two days straight now. I know the cause but I'm not completely sure how to deal with it. The cause is the perfume worn by a colleague. In the past this colleague worked at the other end of the building, so I was rarely exposed to the perfume. Now that our office geography has changed and we are all in the same area, I am unable to take a non-perfumed breath and I find that I am quite allergic to it. Unfortunately I don't know this particular colleague well enough to have a sense of how to approach her about it. She gives the impression of being under constant stress and strain. I am quite miserable but I don't know how to approach her in a way that won't cause her to feel defensive about her right to wear the scent she chooses. It has been suggested that I ask her manager (who has known her for some time but who is not my direct manager) how to approach her - but I fear that by bringing it up to the manager at all would give the appearance that I'm asking her manager to do something about it. I'd ask my manger for advice, but my manger is loath to become involved in any situation where there may be conflict and/or confrontation of any kind and I believe he would perceive this as a potential conflict even if that is exactly what I want to avoid. (The avoidance of all conflict/confrontation or situations of perceived conflict/confrontation is a whole other discussion that I should blog about at some point).

It is interesting that this kind of situation has never come up for me before. I'm allergic to most perfumes, but generally am only exposed to them for short periods of time (such as in an elevator) or in environments where I can choose to remove myself from the proximity (such as a movie theater, restaurant, or store). The is a completely different case. I cannot move my workspace because her duties require her to make frequent stops in various offices in this area - so the scent is everywhere. I've tried taking allergy pills and headache medicine... but that is only a temporary solution. I do know that other people are bothered too, but for them it is more of an aesthetic matter than a matter of health.

So - how does one approach a colleague (with whom no real relationship as yet been established) about the fact that one is allergic to their perfume? How do you do this in a collegial and non-threatening way but still get the desired results? I certainly don't have the answer yet, and I don't want to approach her w/o some thought about how.

Same focus, new direction

2004-11-28T09:49:00.000-08:00

The last TI session and MM's comments on my research plan modifications have had a significant impact on my thinking. I realized that although finding out how I communicate and how my peers perceive that I communicate is still at the crux of what I want to do (at least for cycle one) - I wasn't really being clear with myself why I wanted to know these things. I've been spending so much time trying to research communication and personality styles that I became too caught up in what and how and completely neglected why. So - in the 11th hour (of the Lit Review anyway), I've gone back to the proverbial (ok and literal) drawing board. For the Thanksgiving holiday (which began for me on Wed), I put away all my books and articles on communication/conflict/personality types. I gave all the research a rest and just spent some time with myself, thinking about why. The work of two of the Cadre 6 students (as recommended by MM) helped me in this inner journey quite a bit. Especially the work on leadership. I came to realize that although I am not (at the moment) in a pre-defined leadership role (a "manager" or "project manager") that doesn't mean that what I do doesn't impact the team. In fact, perhaps what I do and say has more impact than I'm aware of.

So - I spent time considering how we function as a team (and what happens when we don't). What are our common complaints when we have our little b**ch sessions with each other. What our common joys. The more I thought about why we work so well together and what the circumstances are when we don't work so well - the more I started seeing the word trust in my mind. Let's pursue that thought... do we trust each other? Yes, I think we do most of the time. More to the point at least for the beginning of this project, do I trust the members of my team and do they trust me? Again, I think the answer is yes most of the time. I wonder a bit about when the answer might be "no"... or "maybe." So - where in the team is the trust weak? Do we trust our superiors/supervisors? Do we trust our colleagues who are not direct members of the team but still our associates in other aspects of our work? Do we trust the organization we work for? Why do we trust or not trust? Finally - how can I have an effect (or affect?) on the level of trust? I wondered, is this train of thought was dramatically different from my original focus on communication? Hmmmm... no... I don't think so. Not at a fundamental level. Afterall - how can trust be developed and nurtured if not through communication? No - I think this train of thought is just a deeper understanding of why I want to understand how I communicate and how I function in the team. Because, in the end, as much as I want people to like me (and, of course I do), if I'm honest with myself, it is even more important that I know people can trust me, that they can depend on me, that the know me.

With all those thoughts in my head, I went in search of literature about teams and trust. I found a treasure trove (thanks to Google Scholar in conjunction with the Pepperdine Library). I also found that I've been far more excited about reading this literature than I was about reading the literature on communication/conflict/personality styles. Of course, this means a big, stressful push for the Lit review now... but that's ok. In the end, I think this is a much more honest and complete approach and will be much more valuable for me (and hopefully a few other people too).

Ok... back to the review writing. :)

Better questions and a little fear.

2004-11-21T18:16:00.000-08:00

As I read through various books on communication styles , I've come to the conclusion that my first step (first cycle?) will be to take one or more communication and/or personality tests and then asking my peers to also take the tests but to fill them out not for themselves but as a way of evaluating me... kind of scary... but I think it will produce more objective results than simply interviewing them or asking them questions which I've come up with personally. I will then correlate the results to see first - if there is any relationship between what I find based on my own answers, and what my colleagues perceive about me. Ok... this isn't kind of scary, this is REALLY scary... what happens if they perceive me to be entirely different from the way I see myself? My next step (not sure if this is still cycle 1 or the beginning of cycle 2) will be to share the results with my team/colleagues and explore the correlations and differences. I'd like to have a discussion about how each person thinks I can improve my communication with them - not sure yet if these would be private meetings, some kind of group discussion, or both. I have to be careful to not encroach on their time too much or too often, as everyone feels that they are under a great deal of pressure right now.

Walking and blogging

2004-11-19T22:12:00.000-08:00

It occurs to me that I have not blogged as much in the last 2 months as I did before that. I was thinking about why that is... some of it is, of course, that Bb, Lit review notes, Sue's class, etc all seem to consistently get a higher place on the list of my priorities. But - yesterday while walking to work, I realized something else... the real beginning of this sort of slacking off (where the blogging is concerned) started around the same time I moved to the new house and started walking to/from work. Most days I walk the route four times (to in the morning, home for lunch, back after lunch, and then home at the end of the day). In addition to the fresh air, these walks provide a wonderful environment for reflection. So - I 've been doing quite a bit of my reflection while walking. I need to make time to blog about these reflections, especially the ARP related ones.

It was while walking to work a few weeks ago that the idea occurred to me to take some basic personality tests/communication style tests, complete them myself, and then ask my peers to complete them as well.. but the twist is I won't ask them (at first) to complete them from a personal point of view - rather, I want them to answer the questions in terms of how they view my personality and communication style. Then I'll compare their answers with my own. I'm most curious to see how different people perceive me. Today, as I walked, I thought about what I would do with the results. I realized that to make sense of them, I would also need to have some understanding of the personality/communication style of my peers... so, I will probably have to ask them to fill at least one of the questionnaires (for lack of a better term) for themselves as well. Now the big question - What am I going to do with all that information once I have it. Do I intend the change something about the way I communicate? Maybe... (it's a matter of degrees, I suspect)... Maybe closer to the truth would be that I want to know if I should change what I communicate more than how I communicate. I wonder if each of us are in someone missing out on the "what."

Sort of related to this - one of the things we do during some of our general design meetings is cover some basic writing skills (sort of a brush-up). We are fortunate to have several excellent writers on our team, and one in particular who knows just about all there is to know about formal writing. Occasionally, we doe little worksheets together... A la "What is wrong with this sentence..." Generally - these are helpful because they directly relate to some common types of phrases that we use in our instructional materials. But - the other day we did one where about half of the items were indeed common misconceptions (or misuse) of certain words (such as the word "due") - but didn't really apply directly to the work we do (some of the words and rules were more arcane than "due" and not words that we commonly use in our instructional writing). Personally I didn't mind the exercise, but as I watched the rest of the ten, I noticed that several people were somewhat frustrated. I think this frustration was a combination of feeling inadequate (because they didn't know the specific rules being referred to) and of feeling like their time was being wasted (after all, we all have projects due and deadlines to meet... We generally see the value in our design meetings... but this time several people didn't). Yet - no one came right out and asked "Why are we doing this w/ these specific words/rules?" "How does this apply to our current projects?" My suspicion, based on the last couple of excellent courses I've reviewed, is that there were not enough examples from our own work that required attention this time around, so the organizer of this interaction felt it was necessary to go searching for something to include in the exercise. Several months ago, I would not have questioned this at all - especially since I don't really mind such exercises. Now - I have to wonder "Why is this exercise even necessary at this time?" "What is the real goal of it?"

Ok - enough on that for now.

One other quick note, mostly for myself. I still intend to change our office geography - but I have to rethink how, now that we've moved more people into our area. Not everyone in the area would benefit from a more open space. Some of this is already solved because those that need the most "quiet" space have their own offices or have cubes that are set somewhat apart from the double cube quads shared by the design/development team.

That's it for tonight... must get back to reading for the lit review... or perhaps sleep... yes.. sleep would be good too.

Cross post from general Blog.

2004-11-10T15:00:00.000-08:00

The talk of deadlines and expectations in Gary's class has led to some significant personal reflection. I figured I'd better post some of it in my Blog. This applies to both my general coursework and to my ARP - so I'm going to cross post this in both blogs. Later - I hope to elaborate on the correlation between my optional book for Gary's class (see title below), the book SLACK (currently reading that for ARP lit-review), the discussion of deadlines/expectations, etc. For now, I only mention that correlation briefly at the end of this blog - to remind myself of what I want to reflect on later.

I've always been (or identified myself anyway) as a rather "goal oriented" ("Type A") personality; the "perform well under pressure" type. As such - I never much minded deadlines and, in fact, I used them as sort of a litmus test for my own proficiency. I'm the girl that generally shows up on time for every meeting, always tries to leave in plenty of time to get to where she's going, HATES missing the previews at the cinema or the pre-concert discussion at the symphony, etc. The really annoying type. :)

The idea of no pre-set (pre-stated) deadlines (or of soft/flexible deadlines) was a bit disconcerting for me at first (to say the least). However, as I work with it, I find it liberating in many ways. Rather than focus on a due date and the limit of what I think I can accomplish within a pre-specified amount of time, I find that I focus more on what I'm learning, accomplishing, and struggling with at any given moment. I don't watch the clock or the calendar, I watch the (forgive me) process. The work becomes about the work and not about the time. I find that I like this approach so much that I'm trying to incorporate into other parts of my life. Ironically, I find that I generally work faster w/o a hard deadline. Possibly as a byproduct of the corporate world (can anyone say "efficiency"?), if I am given a hard deadline, I tend to plan everything around that timeline so that I don't finish too soon or too late. Without a deadline, I find that I work until I feel I am done (or done w/ a stage). I also get more excited and deeply involved in the work that I do for the sake of the work and not for the sake of meeting a specific date or specific set of pre-defined expectations. When I observe this tendency from outside myself, I find that I've always worked that way on personal projects (art work, costume design and creation, creative writing, DIY projects, pleasure reading, hiking, etc.).

My new challenge is - how do I bring this practice into my professional life while still remaining accountable for someone else’s timeline? How do I approach work that has a pre-defined due date (and list of expectations/criteria) with the same open attitude and attention to the process? This is something I will continue to contemplate throughout my ARP work, as it may have a significant impact on both team-communication and team-project management (which are central to my ARP).
Currently, I'm reading Slack: Getting Past Burnout, Busywork, and the Myth of Total Efficiency. Concurrently, I'm reading Thinking in Jazz: The Infinite Art of Improvisation. The correlation between these two books, my current ARP questions, and this discussion of deadlines/expectations is stronger than I might have imagined when I picked up these two books.

Research Plan (first draft) completed

2004-10-31T19:41:00.000-08:00

I completed my research plan today and made some excellent progress in finding more support materials (good for the lit review as well as for the research). Finally ordered a few of the books I've been considering - who would believe that I (of all people) would wait a week or two between finding a book I want and actually ordering it - but I find that as my studies progress I am becoming a bit more selective about which books I actually decide to spend money on. Of course, that could have more to do with my first mortgage payment being due tomorrow - heh.

I was planning on posting my research plan to my ARP website tonight... but I found as I read back thorough it that I wanted to wait from some peer critique before posting it to what is, in all honesty, a public web site. The plan discusses some specific situations regarding my field of practice (my professional work environment) and I want to wait a bit before posting that where others (possibly outside the cadre) can read it. No names are listed (not even a company name) - but, still, I feel like some discretion is called for. So - I've posted it to the black board discussion for our learning circle. I'll see what my cadre-mates/peers think first.

An object lesson in PM (my own)

2004-10-19T19:17:00.000-07:00

This is ironic. I want to research Project Management - well communication and project management (and I think it is fast turning out to be more about the communication). Yet - I've been woefully lax in my ARP project management this week... and woefully lax with my ARP blog this entire month. I've contributed to my general journal and even on topics that impact my ARP - but neglected to add thoughts here, even something as simple as a cross-post or two did not get accomplished. :(

My brain though - it has been active even while concentrating on other course work (how does Gary manage to read all our posts and come up w/ so many learning adventures on top of so much reading...?... and what fit of madness made me pick "Thinking in Jazz" - 800+ pages as my optional book!). As I work though the theories of Papert, Piaget, Vygotsky, and others; try to keep my head above all the reading and learning adventures (and try to remember that sometimes skimming and scanning is more appropriate than more intense reading); work though my own personal ZPD's (Flash comes to mind right away), I find that I am focusing more and more with the different ways I communicate with different people (not just my peers at work, but also my peers in class, in my family, etc.). I also find that I am acting more and more externally on my internal voice. I've never been all that shy but I keep a lot more to myself than most people realize. One advantage to being very articulate and not being shy - is that people don't often ask you too many questions because they assume that you've shared everything you're thinking. Lately - I think I"ve begun to share more important thoughts.

So - how does this impact my ARP? Well - I'm already becoming more aware of how I share information and what information I choose to share (and with whom). Now - I need to focus that awareness AND (may more important for the sake of research) find out if what I perceive is aligned in any way with what my peers perceive. To accomplish this, Cycle 1 definitely HAS to be about communication/how I communicate with my peers/how they think I communicate with them/and (maybe) how they communicate with each other (although that last part may be in a subsequent cycle). The easy way to start this would be with a survey (thus asking the question(s) and creating an artifact at the same time). Another way would be recorded interviews. I want the most honest answers possible. On the one hand - I think the autonomy of a survey might produce more candid results. On the other hand - knowing that their responses are documented on paper might subconsciously lead someone to be less candid. Lots to think about.

Ok - enough on that for the moment... I'm in danger of rambling on... as I do.

There is something else I want to document here - it has been in my thoughts a lot.

One of my colleague's has been filling the role of the more capable peer for my own personal Flash ZPD. Through this process I've learned quite a bit about how I communicate with this colleague. Ironically - I thought this particular person would be a challenge in terms of participation in my ARP - now (because of this project and some other things)- I believe I was mistaken. The more we work together on my flash project (ironically - my current Flash project is none other than my ZPD illustration for Doc. Sue's class) - the more I see ZPD in action. This colleague is an extremely talented artist and technician (a prodigy even... quite brilliant) - but is not a teacher (doesn't claim to be... even goes so far as to claim not to be). Through this ZPD project (among other things) I hope that (think that) I have contributed something to their ZPD (in teaching). I see evidence of this in my colleague's interactions with other members of the team... it is fun and fascinating to watch. I need to incorporate this into my study of communication as well.

Ok - that's enough for now. My next entry should really be about Lit Review, Action Plan or both. Even if I just copy/paste from my word documents into here. I always feel like that's sort of a cop-out... I need to get over myself. :)

Tear Down This Wall?

2004-09-22T20:34:00.000-07:00

In discussing our current physical office structure w/ a couple of colleagues today - I think I may have come up with a possible ARP question/action... but it's not completely I centered .. so maybe it isn't appropriate for the first cycle... I don't know... have to think on that.

I want to tear down the wall that separates our cube quads... I don't know what shape we could create and still have all the individual desk space, network connections, phone lines, etc... but there MUST be a way to make us a more unified team environment.

So - two possible questions:

1: Can I find a way to "tear down the wall"?

2. How would that impact my communication w/ my team-mates?

3. How would that impact our communication with our management? (ok.. that was three questions.).

I need to think more about this idea and where it might have a place in my project.

The journey continues

2004-09-19T13:01:00.000-07:00

Finding literature that applies to my focus is proving to be quite the challenge. I've begun to take a slightly different tactic. Instead of looking for lit that is specifically on "Team and individual project management (of multiple projects) w/ a focus on eLearning projects in a cooperate environment," I'm simply looking for ARP/PAR that involve at least one of those things. PAR in a collaborative team environment, PAR w/ project management as the emphasis, PAR w/ cultural change as a context, PAR with personal change as a context. I'm looking specifically for projects that involve professional adults working either individually or in groups to improve their own process and I'm trying to stay away from projects that are student centered - although in some cases those are providing valuable insight as well (especially one where the students were college engineering students who needed to develop their project management skills). Giving myself permission to expand my search in this manner has helped me "think outside the box" a bit as I try to apply other contexts to my own.

Also of invaluable help has been a colleague and friend who recently completed her MA in instructional design and educational technology. As part of that process, she conducted an ARP on Knowledge Management (KM). She has been extremely generous and kind in sharing her experience, her research, and in agreeing to serve as a "critical friend" for my own project. This will be interesting as she will very likely also be an active participant (one of the more enthusiastic ones I would guess) in my project. Must remember to ask Madre if it is OK for an active participant to also serve as a critical friend. If that is not advised - then it will be difficult for me to decide which role would be more valuable - both for my development and hers.

Ok - here is are some observations/reflections on one of the articles I've read (already posted to BB - but I wanted it here as well).

Staff development for online delivery: A collaborative, team based action learning model. By Allan Ellis and Renata Phelps
Australian Journal of Educational Technology 2000, 16(1), 26-44
Retrieved 9/14/04 from here:
(Found via the eLearning guild resource search.

Summary and insights gained:
A. Ellis and R. Phelps of Southern Cross University describe the early phases (cycles) of a project focused on developing a model for delivering online learning. This model required that the team (educators at Southern Cross in the School of Social and Workplace Development) "...do more than develop new technical skills." The researchers and team members recognized that "Online development and delivery requires new pedagogical approaches, challenging previous practices with regards to assessment, group interaction, and student/teacher dialogue... Online delivery challenges traditional notions of academics working in isolation and instead brings together teams of people each with unique skills, into a course design and development team." The educators involved in this project were themselves Action Learners. Collaboration was the key to their success. Another significant factor was that the participants held collaborative meetings very early in the process (beginning of phase/cycle one). These initial meetings involved the majority of the staff within the school. During the initial meetings a "shared understanding about the values, motives, philosophical and ideological foundations upon which the project was founded" was developed. Although the entire staff did not participate deeply in the initial project development, most did "maintain regular monitoring/observation of the progress of the project, knowing that they would, in the near future be developing units themselves." This whole staff "buy in" was another key to success. The early meetings resulted in a high level of enthusiasm at the outset. This enthusiasm proved to be invaluable for the long-term success of the project. The participants agreed that the initial meetings were "well worth the investment."

One of the significant lessons learned was that the participants preferred to play an integral part in the development of the of the actual course work/course materials in addition to the development of the "new pedagogical approaches." They recognized that a successful online learning model must involve "more than just moving current paper-based teaching materials onto the web and [learning] a few 'cookbook' approaches to on-line delivery." The staff preferred to learn and use current technology to support sound pedagogical strategies, they wanted to "own" the technology and fully integrate its use into their daily work. They didn't want to give up their responsibility for their curriculum development to someone else (such as a professional instructional designer). They wanted expertise in that area available to them as needed but want to maintain their on integrity. One of the team members made this analogy, "...a scaffolding built up with experts but if that scaffolding is taken away, the building still stands." I LOVE that analogy for the role of the expert in a DL or CP! I'll probably use the analogy when working with my team... and in other online forums I to which I belong.

So - what have I learned from reading this article/paper? That to affect change for a team, collaboration is key and key to collaboration is enthusiasm. Key to the enthusiasm is shared goals and early (and continual) communication. Another key is empowering the team members to "own" the process and the project at all levels.

During the this process at Southern Cross, the team members were interviewed in two stages (at the beginning of a phase/cycle before the project activities occurred and again at the end). These interviews served as the formal "reflection." The interviews were "conducted in a collaborative context, not as a 'researcher and subject' but as a process of producing a communal record for all the projects team's benefit and all staff were enthusiastic about the value in documenting the process." Discussion questions were developed and provided but "served as a guide only." This bit of information was valuable to me as I have been struggling some with how to develop a plan that could include reflection time for my team. I am hesitant to ask them to journal or fill out surveys as I dont believe that would engender the kind of enthusiastic participation I hope to develop. However, my team loves to share with each other in a conversational format, meetings like the ones used by the researchers at Southern Cross might provide an excellent reflective context for my own project.

I haven't started, but I have

2004-08-26T21:56:00.000-07:00

It is very interesting to watch myself at work as I consider, contemplate, and reflect on my ARP ideas. I know that the ARP is now firmly rooted in the back of my head and is definitely having an effect much of what I do at work. I'm starting to bring up project management ideas during our design discussions and even during our casual discussions. I'm not calling them "project management" ideas but that is in fact what they are. I wonder, am I trying to prepare my teammates for participating in my ARP? Is this a fair thing to do? Hmmmm.. I guess if it was for purely selfish (OMET and ARP related) purposes... maybe it wouldn’t be... but I honestly believe that the ideas I'm putting out there have value for our group and, more importantly, they are timely ideas and I shouldn't wait until my ARP "officially" begins to bring them up. Plus - the ideas were always there to some extent... we just haven't been as diligent as we might have been about incorporating them in our daily routine.

Even more interesting though - is that I'm no longer jumping to do everything for everyone else (be the first to answer every question, look up every resource, find every document, etc.). I'm actually encouraging others to contribute and then supporting them in their effort to contribute - I don't think I actually realized that I wasn't doing that before (or wasn't doing it as much as I could). An example of this would be the recent search for industry standards on timelines for the kind of development that we do. I knew where to look that stuff up. I could have just looked it up and then emailed it to everyone else... but instead I encouraged those asking the most questions (and stressing the most over how they perceived our management judges things) to look up the information, compile it, analyze it, distribute it to the team, and then encourage discussion about it. I didn't tell them they had to do it, I didn't say that I wouldn't (or couldn't do it), rather, I suggested that having real data to back up our position would be a very positive thing and then I gave them a nudge in the right direction and continued to encourage them in their search and analysis.

It was very cool to be part of that process AND watch myself from the outside. What is most interesting to me is that I think I felt more satisfied about their achievement than I would have if I had simply looked up all the data myself and presented it. Nice lesson. Must endeavor to remember it as this year progresses.

More thoughts on Project Management

2004-08-23T21:11:00.000-07:00

Scope creep. Working on the web-gift for MS and working on the timeline (still working on that one) - I begin to realize that one of my own project management issues is scope creep. I start out w/ a good idea but then I just keep adding to it, and often I don't know when to stop adding. I honestly believe that all the things I add are important, so it is difficult to be tough and leave some out, but this causes the project to take longer and longer to finish. I need to observe myself objectively at work (professional environment) and figure out if I'm doing that there as well. It is difficult because I'm not the only critical player in any of the projects I work on, so neither the scope nor the specifics are completely in my control... but I am still responsible for my part. Am I adding unnecessary steps? If so, how do I change this? How do I maintain a more narrow focus? And - how do I recognize when it really is appropriate to expand the focus? Will managing scope creep really result in projects getting done faster and/or better or will it result in more (but smaller) projects? Do other members of the team face these same issues? How do they approach them? One of the big questions lately is, "How can we express a clearer message about realistic timelines for all our projects?" Could looking at scope creep (and other project management challenges) help with this? My assumption is that it can... but how?

I think I need to start finding some references specific to project management AND instructional design/development of online learning. And then, some documentation on ARP and project management. eLearning guild can provide me w/ some documentation for the first part... guess it's time to start visitng the library. :) but not tonight.

Tutorial 1 - complete

2004-08-23T18:50:00.000-07:00

Completed the Human Participants Protection Education for Research Teams tutorial today. That took a bit longer than expected. :) I'm not sure where to post my completion certificate... not even sure how long that page lasts... so, I printed it (guess I could scan it an put it on my ARP page..heheheh) ... here is the link just in case I need it: http://69.5.4.33/cgi-bin/cms/cts-cert5.pl

Interesting - the most significant reflection I have at the moment is that I really don't like "online tutorials" that are comprised solely of reading text on a screen and answering multiple choice questions.

Although the material in this "tutorial" was very important and I learned a lot of facts, I wonder how long the retention would be if I hadn't taken copious notes. If the tutorial had included more interaction (such as simulations w/ a variable path dependant on the learner's responses), I think it would have been more valuable. I know the basic advantage is that anyone who needs to complete it can access it online at any time ("just in time training") but I don't think that's a good enough excuse for turning an online tutorial into an "electron text book and electronic quiz." There must be a better way. The site even allows you to print the course material (I guess so that you don't have to read it all off a CRT or what ever monitor you use) - nice but again this seems to me to defeat the real potential of online learning. As it is - it is an expedient way to provide the material to everyone who needs it (and who has online access) but it doesn't do much more than that. Plus, the limitations of the assessment provided are obvious (only multiple choice... not even multiple selection or short answer responses). I know it's a pet peeve of mine, but I hate to think of online learning as text on a screen and some multiple choice questions. Hmmmm... am I an eLearning snob? hmmmmmm.

Project Management as a new focus?

2004-08-18T20:39:00.000-07:00

Posted this a part of my personal journal/blog tonight and then realize that I should probably x-post it here.

Big revelation (for me) at work today: there are those on my team who, recently, have begun to feel like they are being pressured to work faster and therefore produce lower quality product (courseware). I (and a couple of others) have commented more than once during these discussions (ok… venting sessions) that I’m not feeling that pressure. Today, after discussing the situation with a couple of others, it occurred to me that some of this may be a result of our differing project management styles. On our team, each person (whether LD, LC, IT, or hybrid) hold some level of project management responsibility (beyond just managing their own specific tasks). I think I had been assuming that the projects I was working on were just not as high profile as some of these others, but now I’m not so sure that is the case. So – I’m beginning to think this may be an even better focus for my ARP (than the more general departmental changes I had planned to focus on). Most of my project management skills and style were developed “on the fly” – rather than through formal training, so I know I could benefit from learning about more formal approaches. I also think the whole team could benefit from a sharing of project management knowledge, styles, approaches, etc. Such an ARP could also provide a more controlled environment for setting up the 3 cycles necessary in the limited time I have because I wouldn’t have to wait for the corporate decisions on departmental change. Definitely worth spending some time mapping out. Hmmm… I should probably cross-post this part of my blog in my ARP blog.

First Post

2004-08-15T15:15:00.000-07:00

This is my first post to my ARP blog. To date, I have created my ARP homepage, described my field of action, and created this blog. That's it for now, but not for long.